[Magic]

If U Seek Britney – Team One [/b]

So, where shall I begin? I think in this task you have thought well, and you have combined three factors which make ANY TiBB game or story a success. You have used interaction, members and Miss Britney Spears – but I am not sure if it was quite enough.

I do like general outline of the story, I think you have used real imagination and comedy, and have finished with a great outcome. But, I do think you could have made several improvements. First of all, personally I think the layout could do with an adjustment; the paragraphs could have been more divided and I dont think writing in italics made the easiest read. Secondly, I understand there was a limited word count but sometimes I think things moved too fast, and in some places the story doesn’t seem to have a natural flow.

My final flaw is in the ‘interaction element’ – it didn’t seem clear what we were voting for! You didn’t explain clearly saying what the voting options were, and somebody had to ask for the voting link!

To summarise – I think the original concept was good – but it just didn’t seem to run as smoothly as it could of.

Outside Of The Box – Team Two

I really like the idea of your piece, as I have feel you have used two factors which make a easy to read story – short chunks and comedy. However, I don’t think you have used the right approach. To me, after reading three it seemed to get boring – it was just too much one way dialogue! What about body language, and the psychiatrists responses?

Also, I think on one of the articles you have lacked imagination. Does ‘Ross' remind you of anyone? A boy with a slightly autistic personality traits, and has a Rat, often talks about numbers, and little about emotion? It seems you have completely stolen the character of Christopher from Mark Haddons ‘The Curious Incident of The Dog at Night Time’ – and unless this is purely coincidental, it seems imagination hasn’t been used generously here, and it makes me wonder if the other characters aren’t original ideas by you.

However, I think you picked on members little flaws, and exaggerated them – which made a great read!