Your worst nightmare!
Announcer: And now on Five, the Big Brother live launch, hosted by a random vagrant we picked up off the street.
Titles (a bit of mouldy cardboard box with an eye on being held to the camera).
Vagrant (Jim): Welcome to Big Brother.
Only audience member: Yay.
Jim: They said they'd give me food if I presented this. Lets take a look at the house (door falls off)
Jim: This year we have no garden, one toilet and a fridge in the living room, we only have a digi cam with a tape that can record for 15 minutes and we can't afford a Diary Room so they just have to talk to the camera for nominations. Let's meet our housemates.
(4 tramps stumble into the house)
Tramp #1: Where's the food?
Tramp #2: There's a bit of mouldy bread in the fridge. It's mine!
Tramp #1: Mine!
Tramp #3: Mine!
Tramp #4: Mine!
(Tramp #1 kills Tramp #2, but he is killed by Tramp #4, and whilst the others kill each other Tramp #4 takes the bread, bites it and dies.
Jim: Tramp #4, you are the winner! (lifts up dead body) Now where's me food?!
Producer: Actually, that was just a ploy to get you to present.
Jim: Grrr! (froths at mouth and bites everybody, turning them into rabies zombies.)
TiBB Member: (wakes up) Aaah! Oh it was all just a dream.
TiBB Member's Friend/Relation: You fell asleep, but woke up in time for Big Brother!
TiBB Member: Phew! Hang on, why's it on Five?
Announcer: And now on Five, the Big Brother live launch, hosted by a random vagrant we picked up off the street.
TiBB Member: Nooooo!