[Shaun]

SiaBB

Highlights Show #3 - Monday (Sunday's events)
Day 3 - 10:23am. The Housemates have just been woken up by the sound of Beethoven's "9th Symphony". Big Brother calls Greg and Lauren to the Diary Room.

Greg: Morning...
Lauren: Do you think they'll put us up for eviction?
Greg: I dunno. That'd be harsh...
Big Brother: Greg and Lauren, do you know why you are here?
Greg: Yeah...
Big Brother: Big Brother does not appreciate his equipment being damaged by his Housemates. Through the door to your right, there is a Punishment Room. You will spend today in the Punishment Room. Big Brother will give you further instructions once you walk into the room, on the plasma screen.
Lauren: Oh my God...

10:42am. The majority of other Housemates are awake and eating breakfast. Rémy, Hannah and Annie are sat on the sofas eating cereal.

Hannah: Hey guys! Have Lauren and Greg come back yet?
Rémy: Do you think they've been removed?
Annie: Surely not, they only broke a microphone.
Hannah: Maybe they're being tortured or something!
Rémy: How?
Hannah: I dunno...loud music, something like that.
Jen: Maybe they're being forced to nominate someone.
AMA: Nah that'd be a reward, less chance of them being evicted.
Jen: Yeah I guess...

11:21am. Greg and Lauren have been in the Punishment Room for half an hour, and are sat on stiff, wooden chairs. A giant screen has been playing the Crazy Frog non-stop ever since they entered. Instructions have told them they must strap themselves to the chairs and watch without their eyes closed.

Greg: This is torture!
Lauren: A buh-ding-ding-ding....
Greg: No Lauren! Stay strong!

11:56am. Linda has come to the Diary Room.

Linda: Hey Bee-Bee.
Big Brother: Hello Linda, how are you today?
Linda: Uhh...not so bad actually. I just wanted to come and talk about the House, really.
Big Brother: What do you want to say, Linda?
Linda: Well I'm worried about being nominated really. I think that Paul's a dead-cert to be up with Conor and orange Laura...but I'm worried about the others. I don't think anyone's been evil enough to be up yet.
Big Brother: Linda, what do you make of your other Housemates?
Linda: Well I think Shaun, Ross and Jen are hilarious. Ama and Rémy seem like very cool guys as well. I haven't made my mind up about the others, really. Watch this space...

12:45pm. Rémy, Laura [P], Ama, Paul and Hannah are in the garden. The task is ongoing, and as Lauren and Greg are being punished, their parts of the task will go ignored for today. Hannah and Paul have been skating for 10 minutes.

AMA: Don't your legs hurt yet?
WATERS: Yes! Big Brother stop!
Hannah: Don't show your weakness, he'll keep it on for longer!
The music stops and they breathe a sigh of relief.
Hannah: Ugh! I hate skating!
Laura [P]: Hopefully that'll be it for a while.
Rémy: When are the memory tasks?
WATERS: Today I think.
The group are interrupted by the opening chords of Elvis Presley's "A Little Less Conversation". Ross and Jen run out of the bedroom wearing their diner outfits, and Rémy rushes to put his on. Ama begins to hand-jive, as per instructed by the DVD.
AMA: One two three four, five six seven eight! One two three..
Ross: Oh if we win this we're definitely getting some alcohol for the wind-down yeah?
Rémy: Concentrate! Dance! One two three four...

1:30pm. Laura [S], Conor, Annie and Jen are in the kitchen, making tea.

Annie: Oh my God, look how much sugar is left!
Laura [S]: Oh no! Who's been having so much!?
Conor: Shaun drinks loads of tea...
Jen: I have 2 sugars with mine. He has 2 or 3 I think.
Shaun walks over to the kitchen.
Shaun: How much is left?
Conor: Like, a quarter of a bag! That's got to last until Saturday.
Annie: I think one spoon per cup is enough from now on, personally I don't use any...
Shaun: Because you're sweet enough, I'm sure.
Laura [S]: Don't be like that.
Shaun: It was a joke?
Conor: Yeah well this isn't a joke.
Shaun: Yeah OK.
He walks off.

2:28pm. Laura [S] and Laura [P] have been peeling potatoes for 12 minutes. They have 12 hours, from when the klaxon started, to peel 500 potatoes using only one peeler between them.
Linda, Ross and Shaun are in the main bedroom.

Linda: I hope this task isn't too difficult.
Shaun: Yeah, we don't want to go a week without sugar.
Ross: Huh?
Jen walks in.
Shaun: Yeah, Jen was there, earlier Annie and Conor were kicking a fuss over there being so little sugar left, and I made light of the situation.
Jen: Oh yeah! And they like were so serious.
Linda: Oh dear...
Ross: Annie's a right moody cow sometimes, must be the hormones.
Jen: Why, has she said something to you?
Ross: Well I offered her a hand earlier getting out of the pool and she was just like "I can manage myself."
Shaun: Oh God, she's trouble, I can tell.
Linda: Hmm...

4:01pm. Annie is in the Diary Room.

Big Brother: When Big Brother plays a 'beep', Annie, a voice will make an order from the BB Diner menu.
She has spent the last 10 minutes memorising the menu.
Big Brother: After the voice stops talking, there will be a second beep, where you must repeat the order to Big Brother, perfectly. Word for word is not required, but every item ordered and special request must be relayed. Do you understand?
Annie: Loud and clear.
A beep is heard. A voice begins ordering.
Voice: Uh, can I have two quarter-pounders with cheese, two side-orders of fries and 2 chocolate milk-shakes to go?
A second beep is heard.
Annie: Two 1/4lbs with cheese, two fries, 2 chocolate milkshakes to go.
Big Brother: Correct, Annie.
10 minutes later...
Voice: I'll have a jacket potato with cheese and beans, a kids hot dog meal with a lemonade, a side-order of onion rings and some fries.
Beep.
Annie: Oh er... a jacket potato with beans, kids hot dog meal with lemonade, onion rings and fries.
Big Brother: The jacket potato was with beans and cheese, Annie.
Annie: Oh god damn it!
Big Brother: Annie, you got 8/10 orders correct. The 4 of you must get 30 out of your 40 total orders correct. You may now leave the Diary Room.

5:13pm. Greg and Lauren are in the Punishment Room. After 4 hours of continual Crazy Frog play, the plasma screen flashes the words "step in". Two booths light up to either side of the screen, and they reluctantly step in.

Greg: What have we let ourselves in for?
Lauren: Just grin and bear it.
Their booths suddenly light up, and there are boxes overhead. As they look up, they open. Into Lauren's chamber, a mix of cotton wool, spiders and ants fall. Into Greg's, spiders, eels and itching powder. They both scream and begin scratching themselves.
Greg: Oh my ****ing God!
Lauren: AAAAAH I HATE COTTON WOOL!

6:01pm. Greg and Lauren are about to undergo their final punishment. They have been given 5 heaped plates of steamed cabbage and cauliflower to eat through. They must finish 3 plates between them before they can leave.

Lauren: I am telling you now, I will never jump into that pool again.
Greg: Too right...
1 hour and 15 minutes later, Lauren has eaten most of the 3 plates. They are finally let out of the Punishment Room, and rush to the bathroom to be sick.

8:46pm. Ama is in the Diary Room.

AMA: Hello Big Brother.
Big Brother: Hello, AMA. How has today been in the House?
AMA: Uh, a little tense. I think the nice-faces people have put on are starting to wear off.
Big Brother: What do you mean, Ama?
AMA: Well, launch night. Everyone walks around acting nice and facetious, pretending to be amazing - but I've seen people bitching and there's hostility between a few Housemates already. Shaun and Annie had a little row earlier, Conor and Paul have, Lauren and Linda seem a bit tense... it's quite fun to watch really.

9:21pm. Conor is in the Diary Room. He has so far got 4 answers correct in his task, out of 9.
Voice: I'd like three portions of chicken nuggets with barbeque sauce, 2 side orders of fries, a tiramisu, and four-
Conor: WHAT THE HELL IS A TIRAMISU?
Voice: -please.
Conor: Oh my God I didn't catch that, repeat it please.
Beep.
Conor: Oh ****! Some chicken nuggets with BBQ sauce, 2 fries, a...a...tirry masoo. And a milkshake? I don't know! Aaaaah!
Big Brother: Incorrect, Conor.
Conor: No but what is a tiramisu? It wasn't on the menu!
Big Brother: Yes it was, Conor, it was under the desserts.
Conor: There was a desserts list!?

10:32pm. Lauren, Paul, Shaun, Greg, Ross, Laura [P], Rémy and Hannah are in the living room.

Ross: SO Laura, who're you going to nominate?
He winks and nudges her.
Laura [P]: Oh my God don't, I don't want to think about it.
WATERS: Well if you pick me I will make your life hell, remember that.
Greg: Paul!
WATERS: I'm only joking!
Shaun: Yeah, uh...pick me and I'll sit on you.
Rémy: Cruel!
Laura [P]: No! Anything but that!
Ross: Dirty tactics, Shaun.
Greg: Does this count as nomination talk?
Lauren: Well we're joking so...meh.
Laura [P]: I think Laura and Conor will find it easier than me.
WATERS: Yeah they'll choose me.
Hannah: Ssssh! We'll get punished!
Rémy: I don't want spiders on me, no way.
They fall silent, and the credits roll...