[lily.]

THESE ARE ACTUAL NEWSPAPER ADS:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites

FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.

FREE PUPPIES... Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog.

FREE GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat . been out a while..better be a reward.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.. Also 1 gay bull for sale.

NORDIC TRACK $300 Hardly used, call Chubby

GEORGIA PEACHES, California grown - 89 cents lb.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE. Call Stephanie.

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes.
Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married
last month. Wife knows everything.