I never gave this album a fair chance when it came out due to lack of...interest I guess. I was a HUGE fan of Confessions on a Dancefloor, and it remains to this day my most-played album.
Madonna - Hard Candy
There's only so much sexual suggestion that Madonna can offer, in my opinion, and she's well past her sell-by date. The same age as my mother, really, it's a bit gross. Musically, this isn't a memorable or even good opening to an album, just...indecency.
Rating: 4/10.
4 Minutes (ft. Justin Timberlake & Timbaland)
One of my favourite singles of 2008, 4 Minutes is one of her catchiest. A great collaboration and it paid off for her, giving her another UK number one. I don't need to describe it, it was everywhere.
Rating: 8/10.
Give It 2 Me
My personal favourite from the album. A Timbaland-weaved beat that doesn't sound generic or repetitive, Give It 2 Me is a brash, in your face and commanding power-single.
Rating: 9/10.
Heartbeat
The theme of the album is candy, something whilst sweet to taste at first, eventually rots your teeth and makes you feel a bit sick. This is proof of that. The heavy synthesised beats and shrill vocals from Madonna, in something that wouldn't sound out-of-place on Nelly Furtado's "Loose" album, leave a more bitter than sweet taste.
Rating: 5/10.
Miles Away
Ballad time now, and the third single from the album is Madonna's poorest-charting single to date, not even breaking the UK Top 40. I find this a great shame, it's definitely worthy of a charting position, essentially when compared to the 75% of popular music nowadays which is totally forgettable. Given added poignancy following the split from husband Guy Ritchie, Miles Away is one of the better tracks here.
Rating: 7/10.
She's Not Mine
...sorry I drifted away. Yawn.
Rating: 3/10.
Incredible
Yeah I'm slowly losing my patience now. I can totally sympathise with the Madonna haters who continually yell "she's past it, give up".
Rating: 3/10.
Beat Goes On
For me, adding Kanye West to the mix is never something to be recommended. The man's an irritating, self-obsessed, arrogant piece of utterly mediocre shite and I wish he'd fall off the edge of the planet. Consider, then, if you will, how I feel towards this song. "On and on" it goes indeed, but why?
Rating: 0.5/10
Dance 2Night
One of the reasons COADF was so critically-acclaimed was for Madonna's versatility and ability to cross multiple genres on a single record. American Life, Bedtime Stories and Human Nature are all evidential of this, but whatever you call this genre, I certainly don't like.
Rating: 2/10.
Spanish Lesson
When executed correctly, latin music infiltrating the mainstream can be excellent (see Shakira, Enrique Iglesias). This, however, is not.
Rating: 1/10.
Devil Wouldn't Recognize You
Finally something that sounds a bit...oh I spoke too soon.
Rating: 2/10.
Voices
Final track now, praise the Lord, and Madonna saves some face here. Improved vocals and a distinguishable tune make this a better offering, and at least ends the album on a better note.
Rating: 5.5/10
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Summary
Often hailed as the constantly-regenerating Queen of Pop, Madonna has sampled a multitude of varying genres since her breakthrough. Country music was taken for a ride on "Don't Tell Me", electronica experimented with on "Music", dabbled with disco in "Hung Up" and even Hip Hop in "Express Yourself".
Unfortunately the dish of today's music is generic, over-edited and unoriginal R&B. Whilst she fits in with what the customer ordered, will people in 20 years look back on this as her 'defining era'? No they will not.
Overall rating: 4/10.