To put it in it's most basic terms, I think the perception of most people is that 'gay' people fancy people of their own sex, 'straight' people fancy people of the opposite sex and 'bi' people fancy both!
So when Josh, who'd previously told people he was gay, then said he'd slept with a woman this was very confusing. Paul was trying to make sense of it; this was not his understanding of how a 'gay' person acted. Coupled with his growing feelings for Helen, his feelings of jealousy etc, etc, it caused him great problems. Again, it wasn't the matter of Josh's sexuality (or anyone elses for that matter) it was the emotions that this new information caused him. From previously not seeing Josh as a 'threat' when he (Josh) and Helen had been flirting, he now felt as though he'd been deceived and he didn't know how to cope.
Of course, Elizabeth stirring the pot every two minutes didn't help either - she was a nasty little minx and loved to cause trouble. She enjoyed Paul's discomfiture and made no bones about continuing to unsettle him.
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Does that make me deceitful? Or just some one who wants an easy life.
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I would turn that around and say "If I want an easy life, I sometimes need to be deceitful".
You're right, both gay and straight people have a lot of issues about bi-sexual people, and it is indeed sad that bi's sometimes have to hide who they really are because of people's ignorance and intolerance. It would be a great world if people could just be people irrespective of race, colour, creed, ability, or sexuality - a Utopian ideal I'm sure you agree, but if individuals hide their 'true' identities is this not perpetuating the ignorance? I don't know the answer.