[Daicelf]

Some of my favourites:

1).....Big Brother - " Bea, on the diary room chair is your letter from home".

Bea - (open's envelope) "Big Brother, the envelope's empty!"

Big Brother - "Bea, after several attempt's, Big Brother was unable to get in contact with your friend's and family. The diary room door is now open"

2)...Dear Bea,
All of us at the asylum think you are doing so well. You've made lots of friends and haven't been crapping in people's beds like you do here. We're so glad to see that electric shock therapy has paid off.
Yours Colonel Sausage and his Blue Tit friends