Erm, Sticks, forgive me if I don't enter into the macabre with you on this one.
It may just be tongue in cheek to you, but, I would just as soon not go down this trail of fantasy.
The very mention, in one breath, as Miriam says, is major trauma.
Sticks, I prescribe one reading of 'The Tales of Beatrix Potter' , Busy Bee and my H&P Chrissie poems each day until the symptoms subside..........