[Luanda]

An emergency meeting of the Birmingham Union of Men (BUM) was convened earlier today in response to the growing controversey. A spokesman for BUM said, "It really is shocking there are no gays in the Big Brother final tomorrow. It has shocked us all, we demand some sort of enquiry at Channel 4. We had a vote and all our members will be boycotting the show tomorrow night and will do a little bit of hoovering at home followed by a small glass of sherry.

Jane Grant of Channel 4, in response to the claims said, "We don't know how long the queue is at KFC but viewers can be rest assured that we will wait as long as is necessary".

Julian Cleary declined to comment.