quote]
PS - ladies, take it easy with PC - he's but a simple lad with a sweet nature and totally unused to the attention of rampant and lascivious females - NOT!!!![/quote]
Listen, how many times do I have to tell you this? He will be completely safe with me, 'cos I only want to play with him.
And, if it all gets a little too much for him, and he needs a little tender care and affection to restore him to full health and vigour after his exertions, well, remember I AM a trained nurse.
I can clutch him lovingly to my ample bosom, and, if that's not enough, and if he's really debilitated, lying wan, listless, and helpless on the back seat of the LURVE Bus, then there's always my speciality cure!
It is reknowned for it's miraculous restorative powers, and has been spoken of in hushed, reverential tones throughout the land.
It is the ROB BED BATH!
Oh Yeah baby, it rocks! Almost worth getting sick for....
I shouldn't really give my secrets away but...
You must start by putting the patient at their ease, and telling them exactly what you're going to do to them.
Then you remove all their clothes, and cover them with a sheet. Then, you take a soft cloth and gently sponge their face, arms, and chest. Then you roll them gently over and wash their back, then you wash their feet and legs, always working towards the heart. After washing and rinsing each part of the body, you gently pat dry with a soft fluffy towel. Then you should, if the patent is strong enough, offer the cloth to them to wash their own ahem 'particulars', but, if the patient is extremely weak, well, you just HAVE to do it for them!
This eventuality does call for a trained nurse of course. Someone who is professional, efficient, completely trustworthy and ethical.
Don't worry Mr Clarke, you're completely safe in my hands...............................
