[alc09]

Jordan is an absolute ****.

She's an attention-seeking, media-orientated ***** of a slut/skank combo. I couldn't give a **** about Peter Andre, but at least he's got his head down and made some music, that filthy midden has been throthing at the gash for some headlines.

Caught 5 minutes of her show on TV the other week and, while she was with her meathead boyf, she said something like; "O ma gawd! This the first time the 'paps' will have a photo of us as a family!" HOW THE **** WOULD YOU KNOW, YOU CRUSTY-MINGED PROSTITUTE?! Only she would know who's taken what photo, who was in it and what not. Dirt. Pure dirt.

Her new guy's hilarious, he just walks around shouting; "MASSSSS! UHA UHA UHA... MAAAAASSSSSSS!" Her little girl, ugly.com, had him confused as she pointed to the sky, drooled and held a blanket.

Each time she acts the ****, she's in the 'paper with a sob story about how she's a single mum and needs party time or how she's been raped. Boo-****ing-hoo, you dick.

I'll bet that if Dwight Yorke's kid knew his arse from his elbow, he's be out of there.