No Floss, I'm not prepared to settle for Percy and his pigs. I haven't bought my red mask and trusty cape (£25.99 from Evans) to waste it on him and his beerstained waistcoat and unmentionably stained trousers. I want a young man, or at least one with his own teeth.
Floss, we need excitement, a new challenge. I know it's been hard for you to accept but ever since our foray into Hadley Woods Paul Clarke has decided he wants nothing more to do with the general public. It is, of course, nothing to do with our activities on that occasion, but now is the hour, I feel to let go a little of the PC obsession. Forsake Ted and his tobacco stained moustache and flat cap and to sally forth again in search of pastures new. A bit of firm male flesh wouldn't go amiss along the way either, would it old chum?
