Helen pops the question
H: Paul!
P: H?
H: Did you like that Macarena I made you tonight?
P: It was Ber-linding!
H: And did you like those pancakes I made you?
P: Mate, they were pancake-tastic!
H: Were they fan-bloody-tastic?
P: There were possibly the best thing I have ever eaten!
H: Don't I take good care of you Paul Clarke?
P: You certainly do!
H: Am I the ideal girl of your dreams?
P: No!
H: Mr Clarke!
P: Yeah, yeah you are.
H: And do you think I'm super, lovely smashing?
P: Babe you are just incredible.
H: You've said on national TV that you are in love with me!
P: Yeah, and I am!
H: So what do you love most about me then?
P: You make me laugh!
H: Why?
P: Cos you do.
H: Is that all! Don't you think I'm beautiful?
P: Course I do!
H: And what else do you love about me?
P: You are completely mad!
H: Isn't there anything else? There must be something about me that you like more than anything..
P: Well, you're so much like me it's, like, really scary!
H: Mayonnaise and Chips Paul?
P: Coleslaw sandwiches mate!
H: We are just exactly the same aren't we Paul?
P: It's really weird!
H: So, will we get married then?
P: Yeah, well, when you put it like that - alright then!
H: Oooh, Paul Clarke!
P: Yeah?
H: Love you!
P: Yeah, you should do!
H: And I do do!
P: You are getting ahead of yourself now H.
H: Am I? Why?
P: You only say 'I do' when we get married
H: What do you do then?
P: I say 'I do' as well!
H: That's it then! we've both said it now, so we are married!
P: Erm, I don't think so Helen!
H: Oh Paul, it will be so LUSH!
P: What will?
H: What do you think? The wedding! Paul Clarke!
P: I hope you are not going to go mad. I am NOT wearing anything stupid.
H: No, of course not. As if I would make you do that!
P: Mmm, I know you Helen....(shudders) I just had this awful vision.
H: Did you? What was it?
P: That scene from the 'Vicar of Dibley' where that dizzy blonde girl walks down the aisle dressed as a pink tele tubbie or something, with sparklers on her head.
H: What's that got to do with me? I wouldn't do that! Is that what you think I am Paul Clarke? A dizzy little blonde?
P: No H. I think you are amazing. I love you.
H: It's about time you said that.
P: I already said it!
H: Oh, yeah, once or twice maybe. When did you say it last? Christmas?
P: Yeah, probably.
H: It was a nice Christmas though!
P: Yeah, remember when I made a present of myself?
H: You didn't cover yourself with wrapping paper though, did you Paul?
P: No, but there was a lovely bow, wan't there?
H: You are making me blush now Paul Clarke!
P: Mate, I would have thought that was impossible!
H: Why?
P: Because you are shameless!
H: I am not!
P: You what? You are, you know you are!
H: How am I shameless?
P: You seduced me!
H: I did not!
P: You did so! You took advantage of me when I was vulnerable!
H: You was looking so sad, Paul Clarke!
P: I was mate, I was.
H: And you was looking really nice.
P: Was I?
H: You was looking LUSH!
P: What did you think?
H: I thought, 'Oh, love him!'
P: Did you?
H: Mmmmm.
P: And what do you think now?
H: I think he is being an a**e!
P: Who is?
H: You is!
P: I is?
H: Oh my God! You are! You are driving me mad. I don't think I want to marry you now.
P: Fair do's! So we won't bother then.
H: OK then!
P: I suppose I might as well go out with me mates tonight.
H: Go on then, why don't you?
P: I will, I will do!
H: Right!
P: That's settled then.
H: Mmm-hmm, alright then.
P: I'm going now.
H: You said.
P: Out. I'm going out.
H: I know.
P: With my mates.
H: Right. You still here?
P: I am really going now.
H: Really go then!
P: H?
H: Yeah?
P: How am I looking now?
H: Well, I think you're looking a little bit sad Paul Clarke!
P: I am sad. Am I looking vulnerable as well?
H: Mmmm-hmmm, just a little bit.
P: What you thinking now?
H: Dunno!
P: Helen! Go, on, what are you thinking?
H: I'm thinking that you are still an a**e!
P: Is that all?
H: Yeah!
P: You sure?
H: Well.....
P: Not just a little bit of ...'love him'?
H: Oh Paul!
P: Come here H!
H: So, are we still getting married?
P: Course we are, course we are babe!
H: And can I have a lovely dress?
P: You certainly can.
H: I will look like a lady. Paul Waite will make me a beautiful dress, and I'll look FANTASTIC!
P: You will look beautiful Helen, you always do.
H: Oh Paul!
