[Shaun]

The world outside had turned a neon blue as bars of light rose from the roads and buildings were suddenly laced in green gridlines, like the template for a virtual reality. Eoin thought he could hear "This isn't the Reality I wanted!" from a distant dragon when arista's voice returned, notably more robotic and authoratitive than before.

"As the Great Marina said,
'I am Not A Robot.'

She was Right, young Owen-cock. I am no Cyber Bitch. But you soon Will be! Ha-ha."

Noticing that this dialogue was becoming a little formulaic, Eoin ignored the enigma's sexual advances and began to prepare for level 3. He poured out a glass of lemonade and lifted it to his mouth, only for it to disappear.

"I think Not,
you Pesky slut muffin," arista screeched, "no Food or Drink until you beat Me."

Eoin rubbed his eyes and muttered obscenities before beginning the level. The screen was equally technological as the world outside, and he tried to remember where he'd seen these kind of visuals. On the forum, Jeff Bridges had just registered and posted an "OMG!!! I JKNOW THIS!!1" thread to which Stu and various other Big Lebowski fans built a shrine. The atmosphere was fairly relaxed considering the world had just changed into a virtual-reality purgatory, and White Russians were passed around with joy.
"Hey, put me down!" cried Rémy.

He could hardly believe his eyes but Eoin's protagonist for this level was Red Moon. A glittering red orb, it suddenly morphed into what he could only describe as a motorcycle from a Björk video - and then it hit him. He was in the TRON universe. A blue car then joined alongside Red Moon and announced himself as Blue Moon.

"Only one Moon can be a moderator, semen-Boy." arista announced. "And it Sure As Hell won't be Roy!" he cackled, having suddenly broken into rhyming couplets in what was sure to be a shortlived narrative device.

As Kerry made a poll asking which of the two would win, they limbered up and Eoin flexed his fingers. He hadn't yet installed a racing game on TiBB so this was an entirely new game for him. A pixellated 'hot girl' stepped out between the two racers with a chequered flag to initiate the race, and on closer inspection the figure looked a lot like Harry.

"I just stole Madonna's body!" he announced triumphantly, as a decrepid leg fell off. "Three...two...one...go!" she/he squealed, picking up his discarded limbs only to shatter into pieces by the sheer force of the passing vehicles.
The Blue Moon had a slight lead to begin with, but Red Moon had put up with years of the likes of nodisharmony and Amy21 to give up just yet. With a couple of sudden bursts he soon found himself edging ahead of his rival.

He suddenly turned right, cutting a red light across the blue racer's path, but Mr. Blue (it's a little late to go for a Reservoir Dogs reference I know but it's worth a shot) managed to swerve and avoid crashing into it. Red Moon began throwing behind spare parts to try and knock the enemy off course but his moderation powers were weak and out of practice. Mr. Blue had overtaken Red and suddenly cut across his path to the left - but Red saw this a mile off.

Now on the inside curve, Red had an advantage and they were soon neck and neck. Red decided to play dirty and suddenly unbanned Thomas_C, causing the rampant homosexual to run onto the grid and flash his bits at them both - Red instinctively looked away but Mr. Blue veered off path and crashed into a wall. Red had won by default!

"You have played Dirty my Eire sexx-xxppp{system-one;;DARENN;;cock pun_}"

Eoin struggled to keep up and decided to jump at the opportunity to level-up; giving Red Moon his freedom.