[One Year Ago]
In a car park beside the TiBB Eurovision event, Ravenheart grips the steering wheel, her knuckles white, fury in her eyes. She slams the accelerator, aiming her Volkswagen Beetle Turbo at DJ Talent.
He turned a gormless look upon his face. Her car smashed into him. However it’s not only his teeth that are covered in gold, his bones are too.
It was like hitting a sturdy lamppost. The Volkswagen crumpled. And DJ Talent cackled in delight.
[Eight Months Ago]
After reconstructive facial surgery, a long coma and loads of comfort eating, Ravenheart lay on her hospital bed, a broken person once again.
A dark haired man in shades and a stylish grey suit entered her room.
“We have a proposition for you, as one of the few Finnish celebrities, Ravenheart you are a valuable commodity. And we would like our brand to merge with you for the next singing competition. We will fund your rehabilitation and provide you with a backing group with mass appeal.
All you have to do is mention our company in your song, do we have a deal?
“Yes,” she said hesitantly.
[The Present]
Ravenheart could hardly contain her excitement for Tibb Globalvision. She laced herself into her corset, and feeling slightly nauseous as she walked out onto stage.
"Winland" by Ravenheart & Special Guests
(
From the darkness, a burst of purple lights reveals Ravenheart)
The clouds of failure have left me now
And through the coming storm
You give me the courage somehow
Like a flame you keep me warm
Our love couldn’t get any higher
I want to kiss and talk to ya
On the worlds number one phone supplier
The totally amazing latest Nokia
(
The lights switch to blue and the backing singers show up, they join in on the chorus)
Us, glove in glove
Walking through the snow in Finland
Head over heals in love
You make this place Win-land
(
American wild guy Charlie Sheen, and the nation's sweetheart Cheryl Cole, go silent as religious leader the Dalai Lama takes the mic)
I would like to welcome a special guest
He is the one and only DJ Talent
(
The lights go green as DJ Talent emerges and starts to rap)
When I say Tibb Globalvision
You say Talent!
(
Ravenheart screams)
Noooooooo!! Not that fu
cker!!!
(
Ravenheart charges towards him, he doesn't even flinch, he grins his gold toothed grin, and spreads his legs a little, making the target easier for Ravneheart, as she kicks with all her might.)
Ahhhhhhh!!!
(
There's a sound like church bells chiming, DJ Talent's smile gets bigger, and he says to the fallen Ravenheart)
My balls are golden now too!
(
Ravenheart clenched her foot as medics came on stage. Charlie Sheen thought the whole thing was a little too crazy for him and decided to leave Tibb Globalvision and maybe turn his life around. Cheryl Cole was very impressed with the Dalai Lama's shaven head, he said he'd let her stroke it for the rest of the evening 
)