Quote:
Originally Posted by BB_Eye
This is the same reasoning as saying women who who wear revealing clothes deserve to get raped. People who spend years in these relationships lose any sense of agency or self-worth. Such that surviving without the abuser seems impossible. Breaking up the relationship is not something which benefits both parties either. The abuser needs a partner as source of narcissistic supply in order to regulate their self-esteem where the abused needs to break away from the relationship if they don't want their life to be a misery. It's simply that years of brainwashing will make it seem otherwise and they remain with their partner (possibly for their whole lives) out of cimpulsion. Narcissists cannot survive on their own, because their brittle self-esteem is dependent on the adulation and praise of others. This is why they themselves are sensitive to criticism and cannot 'take what they dish out' so to speak.
There's a grain of truth to what you say that both partners perpetuate the relationship in a vicious cycle. But it's not as simple as co-dependent 'battered wife' being able to leave at any time. The abused stays with their partner out of compulsion, the narcissist chooses to keep the relationship going because they know only too well the state of depression and self-loathing being alone would return them to. This is why it is impossible for two narcissists to form a relationship with eachother.
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Someone has an interest in psychology, human behaviours and personality types!!
It is interesting concept but pinning down borderline personality disorders can not only be tricky, they can be deceptive too.
Good post btw.