[peachy]

I was in the newsagent's today and (hoping no one saw me) I bought the Daily Star. It was, as usual, journalism at its riveting best as you would expect from THE newspaper of the year, as it so modestly calls itself. The report on each of the BB2 housemates told us absolutely nothing we didn't already know. However, they were (for them) extremely nice about Paul and Helen. Paul has apparently 'been kept quite busy. He has co-presented Channel 5's Exclusive with Tess Daly and has secretly filmed two entertainment pilot shows. But the 26 year old hasn't given up his day job and has returned to his lucrative post as a car door designer in Berkshire'.
When Basildon moved to Berkshire I don't know but they did resist the urge to call him a failure for resuming his career, which must be a first for a tabloid. Helen is described patronisingly as 'a loveable blonde lass' and a 'cuddly Welsh girl' but apart from that her salary, according to the Star, is £150,000 on Lorraine, and she has also 'been offered lots of other telly work'.
Some of the other housemates did not get off so lightly, for Stuart 'deals have been few and far between' and all he can look forward to is 'panto every Christmas'. Poor Narinder was mocked for wanting to become one of the Daily Star Bitches and she also 'has her sights set on joining her ex-housemate Brian as the replacement for Cat Deeley. Attention TV bosses, please don't inflict that on us'. Dean also gets patronised as 'down-to-earth Dean was the one least expected to make it big - and he hasn't disappointed us, poor love. His band are touting their wares on the internet, and asking fans to let them know what they think of their newly-penned tracks'.
All in all the article is more or less a news-free zone but at least you now know that you've missed nothing by not buying it and you've saved yourself 30p.