The Tibb Valentine's Ball: Secret Valentine.

UPDATED FOR 2014.
Secret Santa has been and gone, and it was great. How about Secret Valentine?
Post in here if you want to be included, just a bit of fun, doesn't matter about gender - just choose/create them a gift and we'll all have a laugh. Can be a poem, song, virtual gift etc.
Once I have a reasonable number of people on board I will allocate everyone someone to get a gift for. Keep this a secret till you post your gift. I reserve the right to turn down anyone who signed up for secret santa and didn't bother doing it
Gifts should be posted in the Valentine's Ball thread which I shall post in the morning of 14th February.