[Me. I Am Salman]

For my wonderful valentine Lee, I have bought her confidence!! Whenever your feeling out of touch with your appearance, fret no more, for I have bought you an:

Spoiler:

Instant boob job kit


instant confidence and more eye candy for me *rawrr*

for your second gift I have bought you something which will add some sparkle to your life

Spoiler:

“Grow your own gay best friend” kit


Take him shopping and don’t be too put off if he thinks your bum looks big

I wanted the whole world to know what a gem you are so I got you

Spoiler:

your own newspaper spread

You’re sort of famous now Lee! Your now eligible in the eyes of C5 to be on the next series of Celebrity Big Brother

Despite all these gifts, I know a girl is never happy without

Spoiler:

Shoes! Louis Vitton as well Excuse the feet I was just trying em on cause they were that sexy

And I know Valentines day wouldn’t be complete without

Spoiler:

a candlelit dinner

And finally before we call it a day Lee, I want you to see this. I asked a brilliant musician to write a song dedicated to you and she even filmed a video for it.

Spoiler:

Youtube video

I splashed out on you big time

Happy valentines day Lee
From your beloved valentine, Salman