[Clootie Dumpling]

My heart sank when I tuned in to the first CBB episode to watch Julie Goodyear enter the House and, so far, she has lived down to all my expectations.

I admit to a bias against her, based on decades of doing my best to avoid her woefully caricatured performances as alter-ego Bet Lynch on Coronation Street, from which soap, (allegedly), she was eventually sacked for making increasingly prima donna style demands.

I find it hard to make any distinction between Julie Goodyear, the 'actress', and Bet Lynch, the fictional character, and this difficulty seems to be shared by the lady herself. Why else would she enter the House wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with a catchphrase which is not her own, but was written by a jobbing Granada scriptwiter?

Quite apart from her limited acting ability, as demonstrated recently in the pitiful charade enacted with the equally disappointing Cheryl Ferguson on the CBB opening night, she seems to have no saving graces.

She can't be blamed for the effects of her advancing years or the fact, as she herself admits, that she's never been an oil painting, and her dogged persistence in clinging on to what she clearly regards as Bets' trade marks, like her penchant for leopard prints and her over-processed hair, lend her an air of frantic desperation associated with an old hasbeen rather than of as a doyenne of TV soap opera.

There are some areas in which she could help herself, but in which she seems determined or unable to make a good impression. Her ungainly posture, (as alluded to above in the 'growler' comment), the affected and unsightly way she holds her cigarettes, her ceaseless 'chawing' of nicotine gum, which offends both ear and eye, and her constant, exaggerated face-pulling are ugly to behold and remind me of some of the worst traits of the late Jimmy Savile, from whom, I have become convinced, she was separated at birth.

The icing on the cake, (or polish on the turd), is her thoroughly unpleasant personality. Fake, fickle and foul-mouthed, but failing to be funny; mawkish and manipulative; crass, coarse and cruel; dishonest and duplicitous; there isn't a saving grace in what I've seen to date.

She took an instant dislike to Coleen Nolan, (never a favourite of mine in the past because of the 'Loose Women' connection, but I've warmed to her since Julie's made it plain shes out to get her), and seems determined to goad her growing gang of 'lads' into making her life in the House a misery.

As the saying goes, 'Every dog has it's day', and it's time someone took 'our' Julie to the Vets. Get it? Got it? Get her out!