First of all, sorry to learn of your mum's struggle with cancer and of all the hullaballoo she's had to go through. I hope she's recovering well despite all of this as best she can Vicky.
About the situation she find herself in. I'm torn between both sides here - and the reason I say this is because of what you've (or rather, your mum) admitted below.
Quote:
he told her that she gave off the vibe that she would not have had the surgery if the option of a double masectomy wasnt available. She has admitted that that may have been the case
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I can see the surgeon's point of view in refusing to remove a healthy breast - after all, they are there to prolong life and not to disfigure unecessarily (sorry for the use of the word given the circumstances) - especially when he was correct in his thoughts that your mum may have refused surgery altogether if she didn't have agreement to the 2nd healthy breast being removed. His immediate concern would have been to get the possible life threatning tissue removed from her, which I think is understandable. Should this have been his decision alone? No but I can appreciate his way of thinking, rightly or wrongly.
As for the initial misdiagnosis on the size - it's sad, upsetting, frightening and understandably has added to the whole thing - but they are human as well, and they can only go on what they see during scans/xrays etc - perhaps the person explaining the size (pea vs watermelon) used a very bad and very wrong comparison? As you say, the difference in size is huge. Your mum should be able to find out the exact size of the removed tissue if that helps her concerns on what the actual size was? In cutting to the chase - the size of it is ultimately irrespective: it still had to be removed - unfortunately it's added to your mum's mistrust of those who have been dealing with her, which will of course be adding to her feelings of anger after the surgery.
I can see your mum's viewpoint also: he should have been truthful with her and I can understand her anger and upset as well as a lot of mistrust in how this has been handled and the resultant affect it's had on her now.
Would it be possible that your mum could explain to her GP that it is affecting her emotionally and to her huge detriment with less emphasis on her anger? Clearly she's been very badly affected by this and given the incorrect info and decision made outwith her control - it may add weight to her complaint.