[Romantic Old Bird]

Word Origin

Sh1t

In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure
were common.

It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by-product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen.
Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!

Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term "Ship High In Transport" on them which meant for the sailors to stow it high
enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the
hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production
of methane.

Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T ", (Ship High In Transport) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.


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Distateful joke and politically incorrect joke follows.............

WHEN YOU'RE SMILING

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on
their faces.

The pathologist is baffled, and informs the police and the coroner.

After investigating the circumstances surrounding each death, the coroner calls in the police to tell them what has happened.

First body: "Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to
his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner.

Second body: "Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent
it all on whisky. Died of acute alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"

"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one: Big Seamus Quinn
from Donegal, 30, struck by lightning."

"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.

"Thought he was having his photo taken."


(the old ones definitely are the best….)

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The Truth
A middle aged woman is standing naked in front of a full length and sighs heavily.

Her husband asks her what the matter is.

She answers:

"I look horrible. I'm fat, my boobs and my backside are getting more and more saggy by the day, I find a new wrinkle every morning and I think I'll have
to go up yet ANOTHER dress size".

Sitting down with her head in her hands she continues,

"I just feel so old and ugly...can you please at least pay me one compliment?".

The husband replies.....
" Well if it's any conciliation, your eyesight's ******ing spot on!!".