[Z]

Now that I'm back at uni, the German course is a lot smaller and close knit because some people dropped out, other people were sort of liberated by the experience and are more sociable, the speaking classes consist of people from my year and the year above and in small groups etc, so I've been getting to know new people this year. There's this girl, N, who before we went away, would only sit with and talk to this boy W so we always assumed that either they were together or it was really platonic. Like they would often just sit in silence, in each other's company, outside uni buildings and stuff, so I kind of just thought they were really quiet oddballs but harmless all the same.

Anyway, this year N is in my speaking class and has become a lot more outgoing, obviously the year away did her confidence the world of good, and I'm always happy to get to know new people and considering it's a course of about 22 people, it's kind of weird to not know everyone really well having known their faces since 2009. So I invited her to pre drinks at my flat for a couple of nights out that my usual group and I have gone on, and she's stayed over at mine a handful of times after a night out too with other people because she lives quite far away and I'm happy to host people (which is how I got crabs, but you all know about that anyway. Pah.)

A while back, my friend, H, was with her gay friends in the gay bar in town and bumped into the boy W, who only hangs out with N, and he begged her to not mention it to N (why would she? They never spoke) because N didn't approve of gay people and didn't know that he was there. H mentioned it in passing to us and we were all like 'ah, that explains their platonic friendship' but we figured she wasn't homophobic because surely she'd have realised the boy had gay tendencies if they'd been friends for so long, so why would she still be friends with him?

Last night, there was a German Society special club night arranged at this small venue, so lots of us were there dancing to German music and having fun, when N followed my friend D into the male toilets. A bouncer went in and told her she wasn't allowed to be in there, and she then said something like "why are you throwing me out? It's not like I'm a gayboy trying to do something wrong in the toilets" and he calmly explained to her that it was because it was a male toilet and she was female and she wasn't allowed to be in there. She then launched a tirade of homophobic abuse at the bouncer, calling him a ****** and saying he had made a sinful life choice and he was taking it out on her - so she ended up getting herself, and D, thrown out of the club. I had gone home by this point but my friends H and K were staying over at mine and they were still at the club, and they said N could come back with them to mine and the three of them stayed over here. K then told me about all of this today at uni.

So my dilemma - N has sort of established me as a new friend of hers and obviously wants to integrate herself into our group of friends, but I absolutely cannot be friends with someone who is so homophobic. She is unaware of the fact I've had a boyfriend in the past, and I feel like I can't tell her about it because I don't want to be on the end of abuse. What do I do? I can't stop seeing her because we do the same course and it's so small. I'll stop inviting her to things, but how do I get out of this fledgling friendship? Or do I try and forget it and put it down to the fact she was very drunk and assume that she wouldn't do that to me?