[Livia]

The Haribo ad with the Welsh kid in a lab coat and glasses. I could slap her till she stopped getting up and I have no idea why.

The Oreos ad where the cute little girl is teaching her Daddy how to eat a biscuit. It’s like being force-fed with marzipan.

Foxy Bingo… a vintage coach full of chavs pretending to have a whale of a time but who end up looking really awkward and wooden.

The Rimmel ads where the grubby junky from Croydon we know as Kate Moss, and the model who’s teeth look like an explosion in a mason’s yard, advise us to “Get the London Look”. If that’s what you’ve got girls, I definitely don’t want it.

The one where Eva Longoria wearing just a slip, wriggles her arse and drags herself around her house to advertise... cat food. “Dancing is my passion…” she tells us. Then you’d have thought you’d be better at it, love.