[Romantic Old Bird]

Isn't this what they did in US BB?

Mind you - they were starting from $1million so not so bad really.

I think this stands the risk of being another BB3. They will get the viewers they want, it will be successful, but we soppy old sorts won't take to it.

Never mind.

I hope it backfires and the hardships only serve to enkindle the spirit of Dunkirk and the Blitz amongst the hapless inmates.

I hope they end up bonding and plotting against their despotic leader.

Then they will take over Elstree and capture Dermot as a love slave.

Then Borehamwood will fall, they will gather supporters from the North London environs - particularly Barnet - before marching on to Westminster.

Taking advantage of the summer recess in Parliament they will take over the building.

They will then turn the House of Lords into a bedroom (well just change the sheets really), and elect Dermot as Lord Protector. The Queen will immediately surrender the monarchy, as long as Wills can have a nice little job with a good pension.

Accordingly, they appoint him as Home Secretary.

Paul Clarke is made Foreign Secretary because of his extensive travel experience and international status.

Helen is appointed minister for Women and immediately bans sensible shoes. She persuades Penny, the education minister, to introduce Glamour as a compulsory part of the national curriculum, and ensures that all children are provided with a free pot of glitter each playtime.

Alex is appointed as the Minister for Health, and sets about cleaning up our nation. However, his career is short-lived following a 'cash for cleaning' scandal when it was revealed he owned a 25% share of Domestos. He later described his treatment by the revolutionary government as 'DISGUSTING'.


Jade was appointed Minister for Culture, after her award-winning run as Eliza Dolittle at Clacton.

When asked for her reaction, she replied:

'OhIcan'tbloodybeleevetheywantmetodoititsgoodinnit costheythoughtiwasmingingandigotabllodyveruccaande verythin. bobbyjackcancomewivmeandtheresagymthereintthere?l' avetoavetimeoffwivthebabybutthat'llbealrightwon'ti t. memamwillbechuffedandavidmerrionandcanmegrancomeas well? OhandcanweputJeffinthetowerandletoutmedad? '