[madame_lalaurie]

first i just want to say i only made this multi because i wanted to have my say and i have no intention of making anymore but this is the only way i can get my point across and once i have posted this i will have nothing more to say

first of all kate i just want to say that i know there is bad blood between us but i really really admire you for the stuff you have said in this thread so thank you

and some of the stuff posted in this thread is completely wrong, i have been on a 3 month ban before (that is the longest i have ever had) but i have never ever been on a 6 month ban

and idk how my first perma from 2007 is relevant because the slate was supposedly wiped clean when i came clean about it and changed my name to scott (and lets get some prospective here it was almost 6 years ago and i was a teenage boy who had only had broadband installed 2 weeks earlier, plus i was permabanned because i got a 24 hour ban and made a multi, so the 3 strike rule that applied in 2007 never really happened for me but whatever)

anyway i dont even know how i feel about the current ban myself, part of me feels as though a permaban would be completely justified because i have crossed the line so many times but anything i have ever done or said on the forum and offsite was never meant to hurt anybody. idk i just have a really ****ed up sense of humor and i guess i just dont consider other peoples feelings enough but whenever i have done or said something i never set out to purposely upset people (and you can all make your own mind up about whether i am telling the truth with that but at the end of the day only 1 person actually knows and that is me)

and yes i do regret everything that has happened not just because it got me banned but because i actually feel bad about it. like just now when i was reading this thread i saw kates post and i actually felt like crying because i just felt like **** for all the bad things i have ever said/done to her and she is still willing to forgive

and i really do agree with everybody that is opposed to me coming back (i agree with their reasons anyway) because everything that has been said (by zee in particular) is completely true apart from him saying that i will never change because this is actually the first time i have felt as though my future on the forum is uncertain and its been a big wake up call (i have never been given a ban longer than 3 months up until now)

and like he says i have never really taken the forum seriously or considered peoples feelings and i feel bad about that and if i do come back i will try my hardest to change

but yeah the point of making this multi was not to appeal for my ban to be lifted i just wanted to have my say (which is totally fair imo) and to apologize to people because i might not have the chance to do that again but dont think this is just some suck up attempt to get me back on the site because right now i just want people to know that i am sorry for everything that was done and said and i just know some people will read this and think oh this is just a false apology to make himself look good

so yeah to summarize i fully agree with the punishment i have been given (the only aspect i disagree with is the uncertainty of it all like if its a perma just tell me coz i think its cruel to just keep me hanging)

AND YOU DON'T NEED TO CLOSE THE THREAD thinking it has encouraged me to make a multi to cause trouble, once this has been posted i am gonna log out and that is that