Checking in tonight to see what's afoot, and what does old Floss find?
That Bunty Galore has gone ga-ga!
Casting aspersions about my journalistic integrity by jove! It simply cannot be tolerated! I cannot allow this to happen without defending myself vigorously! I am cut to the quick!
I have not been indulging in luxurious health farm pamperings, good grief no!
I have merely been taking the waters in Harrogate. The woman knows I am a martyr to gout!
Let me tell you, if it had not been for my Sanatogen, I might very well have lost the will to go on!
However, I am, I must admit, replenished, and furthermore a recent trip to my GP has resulted in me being provided with some hormone replacement therapy.
I've never held with such shenanigans myself, but I have to admit that after only a few days, Reg at the Bowls Club is beginning to look mighty fine to me! I will confess that the photographs I have seen of young Mr Clarke have made me dream of days gone by. A fine specimen of a young man indeed!
But I digress, as ever! As to Saturday. Contrary to Bunty's belief, I have no intention of taking Mr Clarke away from the 'Taut and Pert' gymnasium in Barnet. I have secured an exclusive one to one interview with him in the steam room.
It might get a bit opressive in there I imagine, and they they tell me that there is barely room for two, but I am willing to put myself out and go to any lengths in my endeavour to bring you this journalistic coup.
It will be damned testing, but I will not shirk in my duty.
Unfortunately, Bunty will have to guard to the Norton in the carpark. Despite this recent embarassment, she's a game old bird, and as soon as we get her back on the lithium, I'm sure she'll be completely harmless.
It is rather touching to see the lengths she has gone to in her (futile) attempts to improve her appearance. The woman has a face for radio and a body for medical research. Still, give her her due, she tries.
The squint is barely noticeable when she wears the shades, which she invariably does, even in December. She did try the Gabrielle eye patch, but somehow she just couldn't carry it off with sufficient panache. It could be the dowager's hump I suppose, but somehow I found myself invariably reminded of Mrs Overall from Acorn Antiques.............
Still, as I said, the woman tries. No matter what has passed between us, she is still my friend, and as long as she remembers her place in the pecking order, we'll be just fine.
Now, I have a few questions for mr Clarke, but please, if you have a burning issue you would like me to address with him, well, what can I say, I'll try.
Goodness knows, I've got a burning issue or two I'D like to address with him!!
