[MB.]

V/O: 10:01am. Most of the housemates are awake in the bedroom.

Greg: Another day in paradise… ish.

Caitlyn yawns and pulls up her duvet.

V/O: Meanwhile, Leon and Billy are in the bathroom.

Billy: Do you think you’ve got a good chance of staying tomorrow, mate?

Leon: Mmm, yeah. I’ve not done anything wrong, so I haven’t got much of a reason for anyone to vote me out. People will like me, I’m confident about that.

Billy nods.

Billy: Yeah, man, you’re a likeable guy. Unlike some of the others in this house.

V/O: 10:52am. Some of the housemates are in the living area.

Eloise: Who’s going to do the list today, then?

Spencer: Huh?

Eloise: The shopping list.

Spencer: (shrugging) Eh, I don’t really mind.

Candie: (to Vivienne) It’s luxury for everyone besides Greg and Vivienne, isn’t it? You know, because of the task.

Vivienne: I think we’ve all got a luxury budget this week, you know. I remember them saying something about it when Simon had to do his part of the task the other day.

Caitlyn: So we’re all getting nice food! I’m hungry already, haha!

V/O: 11:38am. Edwin has come to the diary room.

Big Brother: Hello, Edwin.

Edwin: Hello. I was wondering, because I’m very doubtful that my requests will be considered when it comes to the choosing of the shopping list, that you could reserve some foie gras for me? I’d hate to be without foie gras.

Big Brother: Edwin, the list of items that can be bought using the weekly shopping budget is available in the welcome pack. Foie gras is not one of them.

Edwin: Oh, bugger. Well, I’ll have some truffles, in that case.

Edwin’s request is met with silence.

Edwin: Hello? Truffles?

V/O: 1:09pm. Laura, Eloise, Tisha and Simon are in the garden, discussing Leon.

Tisha: (to Eloise) Does Leon still wanna do rumpy pumpy with you, hun?

Eloise: Leon? No, don’t be ridiculous. I haven’t spoken him yet today, anyway. Yesterday was a one off because he knew he was up for eviction.

Simon: And I take it you don’t feel the same?

Eloise: Of course not. I mean, he’s nice and all, but it isn’t a coincidence that he’s piling on the compliments when he has a chance of going. And he was buttering up Candie yesterday, so it isn’t just me.

Tisha: What a ******ing knob.

Laura high fives Tisha.

Eloise: Well…. I guess that’s one way of putting it!

Caitlyn runs out from the living area.

Caitlyn: Lunch is on, guys! Billy’s made some chicken something or rather. Fairly lush, it looks.

V/O: 1:35pm. Having just eaten lunch, most of the housemates are in the living area.

Tanvir: So, who’s doing the shopping list? We need two to do it, right?

Jackson: (to Tanvir) Well, let Greg do it, he knows all about food and flavours and stuff. He’ll pick some good s**t.

Greg: I’m happy with that… if that’s how much you trust me, of course!

Tanvir: That’s one. Anyone else want to?

Nadine raises her hand.

Nadine: I don’t mind going.

Greg: Cool, let’s go and get the board.

Greg and Nadine go the diary room to collect the chalk board and the list of items available. They then return to the living area and begin to look through the list.

Greg: Any requests?

Billy: Hang on, I’ve got a few ideas. Let me take a seat.

Edwin: (quietly) Truffles would be nice.

Eloise: Some more soya milk would be great too, please.

Nadine, Greg and Billy thumb through the list. Leon also looks over at the list.

Priscilla: (peering over) Don’t forget the fags, will you?

Leon: We’d better not…

V/O: Twenty seven minutes later.

Greg: Right, is that all of it?

Nadine: Milk, bread, eggs, sugar, tea, coffee, salt, meat, chocolate, lots and lots of cigarettes… just about, yes. I think, anyway.

Big Brother: Thank you, Greg and Nadine. You are now free to leave the diary room.

Nadine places the chalk board on the diary room chair and she and Greg return to the house.

Eloise: Was the soya milk on there, then, guys?

Greg: (to Eloise) Well, it was on there, yeah. We definitely wrote it down.

Eloise: Thanks!

Eloise goes into the bathroom.

Leon: What’s this about?

Greg: Eloise has to drink soya milk, she can’t have anything with lactose on it. That was on the order, right?

Leon: S**t, I think I crossed that one off when we put the cigarettes on the list. Oh, well, I’m sure she can do without.

Candie: (to Leon) That’s not how it works, Leon, she can’t drink milk full stop.

Leon: That’s not my fault, though, is it?

Candie: Oh, come off it…

V/O: 2:23pm. Vivienne, Greg and Eloise are in the hideaway.

Greg: Have you heard about the milk situation, yet, Eloise?

Eloise: What do you mean?

Greg: It turns out Leon crossed the soya milk off the list – accidentally, he says.

Vivienne: That’s really crap. Sorry, Eloise.

Eloise pulls the hood of the top she is wearing up over her head and lets out a sigh.

Eloise: …oh well.

V/O: 3:29pm. Tisha, Spencer and Laura have been called to the diary room.

Laura: I hope this is some fun task or something.

Tisha: Me ******ing too!

Spencer: And me, we need a bit of fun at the moment.

Big Brother: Hello Laura. Hello, Tisha. Hello, Spencer. Big Brother has noticed that you three are some of the more mischievous housemates in this year’s bunch.

Tisha: Woo!

Big Brother: Therefore, Big Brother would like to set you a secret mission.

Laura begins to bite her nails.

Tisha: Bring it on, bitches. In a good way, you know.

Big Brother: Big Brother would like you to carry out a prank on your fellow housemates. One by one, you must bring an item belonging to each of your fellow housemates to the store room without anybody finding out that you three are responsible. You may use your best acting skills to convince your fellow housemates that you are entirely innocent. Do you understand?

Spencer: Haha, this is brilliant!

Big Brother: Big Brother will be putting on a dancing party to help you with your mission. Once one item belonging to each of your fellow housemates is in the store room, Big Brother will lock the door to this room. If you are successful in your task, then you shall be rewarded.

Tisha: Let’s do this s**t!

Laura, Tisha and Spencer leave the diary room. Laura whistles.

Jackson: Was that a task?

Spencer: Huh? Oh, nah. Nah.

V/O: 4:05pm. The dance party has begun in the house. Laura, Tisha and Spencer are discussing their tactics in the kitchen.

Tisha: (whispering) What we doing, then? I’m like, well confused.

Laura: (whispering) Well, we can go into the bedroom one by one, something like that, then take something from everyone’s beds. Yeah?

Tisha: (whispering) Yeah, okay.

Laura, Tisha and Spencer split up, with Tisha going through to the bedroom first.

Simon: (to Tisha) Where are you off to, love?

Tisha: Getting my… top. Yep.

Tisha enters the bedroom and begins rooting through her fellow housemates’ items. She finds a pair of Vivienne’s socks and Tanvir’s pants, before stuffing them up her t-shirt and returning to the house.

Priscilla: (to Tisha I thought you were getting your top?

Tisha: Yeah, probably, I can’t remember what I ******ing said.

Tisha goes into the store room and drops the items in the corner of the room. She then picks up a bottle of champagne and re-enters the house.

Tisha: Drink up!

Some of the housemates cheer to this, whilst Tisha tiptoes over to Laura and Spencer.

Tisha: Right, I got some stuff from Tanvir and Viv, so if we can all get two or three things each then we can make things easier. Yeah?
Laura and Spencer nod.

Laura: I’ll go next.

Tisha: Get my top, yeah?

Laura walks through to the bedroom.

Vivienne: (to Laura) Are you going to the bedroom, Laura? I’m changing out of these shoes, so could you get my black socks?

Laura: Will do!

Laura goes to the bedroom, picking up Tisha’s red top and putting it over her shoulder. She then rummages through some of the items beneath housemates’ beds, eventually taking a bra belonging to Caitlyn, one of Leon’s shoes and Priscilla’s stuffed toy. She holds them behind her back and returns to the house.

Vivienne: Have you got my socks, there, Laura?

Laura: Oh s**t, I forgot! Wait, I’ll go and get them in a minute.

Priscilla: (to Laura:) Are you holding something?

Laura: Yeah, I was just bringing Tisha’s top back.

Priscilla: No… behind your back…

Priscilla walks around to the back of Laura, who turns around in the opposite direction, with her back facing the wall.

Priscilla: You’ve got something, you cheeky bugger! Come on, let’s see.

Laura drops the items on the floor.

Laura: (to Spencer) They’ve rumbled us!

Edwin: What on earth have you been doing?

Priscilla: Not my replacement Percy!

The music stops as Priscilla picks up and cradles her stuffed toy.

Nadine: Poor replacement Percy.

Big Brother: This is Big Brother. Would Laura, Tisha and Spencer come to the diary room?

Eloise: Were you all in on this? Ha ha!

Spencer: Hey, we tried…

Caitlyn: I don’t want the whole world seeing my bloomers, you naughty people!

Laura, Tisha and Spencer go to the diary room.

Big Brother: Hello, Laura. Hello, Tisha. Hello, Spencer.

Tisha: I’m kinda worried! We passed, right?

Big Brother: Earlier today, Big Brother set you a task to pull a prank on your fellow housemates. You were to steal one item belonging to each housemate, and take these items to the store room. However, as your fellow housemates discovered your secret mission, you have failed this task.

Laura: Shucks.

Spencer: You’re the one who pissed it up, ha ha! Hey, you know… never mind. It was just a bit of fun.

Without warning, a large cake drops from the ceiling and onto the three housemates. Tisha and Laura let out loud screams.

Spencer: You ******ing bastards! This is my good shirt, as well.

Big Brother: Big Brother can play pranks too, housemates.

Tisha: I see what you did there, man. I see what you did there.

Big Brother: You are now free to leave the diary room.

The three housemates, covered in cake, leave the diary room.

Candie: Good god! What did they do?

Laura: Who wants to lick me?

Billy: (muttering) Nobody wants to ******ing lick you, Miss Piggy, don’t flatter yourself…

Leon laughs.

V/O: 7:42pm. With the housemates having eaten dinner, the party has continued in the house. Candie is teaching Caitlyn, Simon, Jackson and Laura how to do ‘locking’.

Candie: So, you move your legs here, and…

Caitlyn: This is like effing Twister!

Caitlyn sticks her leg out, loses her balance and falls over.

Caitlyn: Don’t air this!

V/O: 8:38pm. Billy, Tanvir and Leon are in the smoking area.

Tanvir: (to Leon) Could be your last night here, mate.

Leon: It won’t be.

Tanvir: I know, yeah, but it could. That’s a weird feeling.

Billy: Didn’t you hear him? He won’t go, man. Guys will like him cause they can relate to him, girls will find him attractive and want to jump his bones, he’ll be loved by everyone. Surely?

Leon: I ******ing hope so.

Leon lights another cigarette.

Leon: (to Tanvir) Want one?

Tanvir: Nah, I shouldn’t. I’ll get out of shape. Oh, ****** it, it could be your last night, I’ll take one.

Leon: Here you go, pal. And like I said… it won’t be. I know these things.

Leon taps his nose.