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Emma walks through the crowd and up to her presenting podium.

Emma: Three housemates have become bankrupt, and tonight, one of them will be getting their eviction notice.

The crowd cheer as the Big Brother: Winner Takes All titles roll.

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Emma: Yes, hello, and welcome to the first live eviction of Big Brother 2015! Hasn’t this week been busy? In just seven days, we’ve seen bitching, backstabbing, banking and… well, Battenberg. Tonight, you’ll get the chance to chuck one of those housemates out on their golden bottoms faster than you can say Edwin Dugray Larson. Laura, Leon, or Spencer. Who goes? You decide!

Emma walks halfway up the stairs.

Emma: So, who wants some house action? If so, you’re in luck. Let’s see what went on in Britain’s most famous bungalow…

V/O: 10:24am. Billy is in the kitchen, cooking breakfast, with the assistance of Spencer.

Spencer: (to Billy) You getting nervous about the eviction?

Billy: Nah, man, why would I be? Leon will be fine, there’s no reason to get worried at all. You just watch.

Spencer: Oh, okay. That is reasonable, yeah.

V/O: 11:12am. Jackson, Candie and Vivienne are discussing the upcoming eviction in the garden.

Candie: Who are you two hoping will go, then?

Vivienne: Deep down? Leon, purely because he seems to be causing a bit of a divide between his ‘gang’ so to speak, and the rest of us. I’m sure he’s a lovely guy-

Jackson: Eh, maybe.

Vivienne: –I’m sure he’s a lovely guy, but he could try a lot harder to try and come across that way, definitely.

Jackson: I just hope it isn’t Laura or Simon, you know, they’re actually nice guys. It’d be s**t to lose them.

Candie nods.

Vivienne: Not long to wait now, whatever happens.

Laura walks in from the bathroom.

Laura: I heard my name!

Candie: Oh, it was nothing bad, hun. We were just saying how we all hope you stay this week. Simon, too.

Laura: Cool, cool. Thanks, guys, that means a hell of a lot. Anyway, sorry, I’m just a bit stressed, I need a fag.

Laura walks over to the smoking area, where Tisha is.

Tisha: One of them days, huh?

V/O: 1:15pm. The housemates have been gathered in the living area for today’s task.

Big Brother: This is Big Brother. Would the two most rhythmic housemates please come to the diary room?

Caitlyn: Ha ha, well, count me bloody out!

Candie: I’ll go, yeah?

The other housemates seem to agree with this decision.

Simon: The problem is, none of the rest of us have a single ounce of rhythm in our bodies! You’ll have to go it alone, Candie!

Tisha: I can shake my ass a bit from time to time.

Greg: Candie and Tisha, then?

Edwin: Well, as long as it’s not bloody me.

Tanvir: Or me and all!

Candie and Tisha go to the diary room. Their visit is displayed on the plasma screen television in the living area.

Eloise: Oh, look, they’re on the screen!

Nadine: (muttering) I should have known it’d be a task…

Big Brother: Hello, Candie. Hello, Tisha. You two have judged yourselves the two most rhythmic, and therefore, you will lead two rival teams in Big Brother’s all new acrobatics championships. You must now decide which of your fellow housemates you would like to join you on your teams, choosing one-by-one. To your left is a box, with three straws in for you to choose from. Candie, please select a straw.

Candie picks a straw from the box with a gulp.

Big Brother: Tisha, please select a other straw.

Tisha: Sure thing, bruv.

Tisha picks a straw from the box, and she holds hers up against Candie’s.

Tisha: S**t yes!

Big Brother: Tisha, as your straw is longer than Candie’s, you may choose a team member first. Who would you like to join your team?

Tisha: Laura!

From the living room, Laura blows kisses at the screen.

Big Brother: Candie. Who would you like to join your team?

Candie: Erm… I’ll take Eloise, please. He he, that rhymes.

The choosing continues, with Tisha picking Jackson, Tanvir, Greg, Caitlyn, Spencer and Billy, and Candie picking Vivienne, Simon, Nadine, Priscilla, Edwin and Leon respectively.

Spencer: This is going to be horrific!

V/O: 1:53pm. Team Candie are in the task room, rehearsing for their acrobatics performance. In order to pull off their performances, the teams have been supplied with ribbons and hula hoops as props.

Candie: Right, so Leon, Priscilla, Vivienne, you seem best with the hoops so I’ll do that alongside you, Eloise, Nadine, Edwin, Simon, you can take the ribbons, is that all right?

Simon: Am I really that camp? Ha ha.

Edwin: I’d consider myself rather butch, actually.

The team also try their costumes on for the upcoming performance.

Priscilla: Do we really have to wear these bloody minging leotards? It’s far too tight and my fanny’s chafing already.

Nadine: I can’t get mine on…

V/O: Meanwhile, Team Tisha are rehearsing their routine in the second task room.

Tisha: (trying to hold a hula hoop) What do you do with this?

Greg: Put it around your waist and spin. That’s it, you’re doing it.

Billy, Tanvir and Spencer are stood against the wall of the room, looking bored.

Billy: (muttering) How long’s this going on for?

Tanvir: (to Billy) Calm down, it’ll be over soon.

Billy: And I’ll ******ing make sure of it.

Tisha hands out the props to her team mates – she, Laura, Jackson and Greg are given hula hoops, whilst Caitlyn, Spencer, Tanvir and Billy receive ribbons.

Caitlyn: Mine looks like candy floss!

Spencer: Is this for real? Are we meant to be twirling some crappy piece of string around all day?

Tisha: …and here’s your costume, mate.

Tisha hands everyone their leotards.

Spencer: Seriously?!

Team Tisha get to work on their routine, although this comes to a halt when Laura accidentally breaks her prop.

Billy: Told you.

V/O: 3:33pm. Big Brother has gathered housemates in the garden for their performances.

Big Brother: This is Big Brother. Housemates, welcome to Big Brother’s acrobatics championships! Today, you will compete in your teams to be crowned the first ever acrobatics champions. The results will be decided by an esteemed panel of acrobatics, gymnastics and dance experts, who will mark your performances out of ten. The team with the highest total will win the task. Would Team Candie please take to the performance area?

Team Candie stand up, high five one another and walk to the middle of the garden. Their music – “Ghost” by Ella Henderson – starts and they begin their routine.

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It mostly goes well, although Leon seems somewhat stationary throughout and Simon messes up a lift. Some of the other team clap, whilst others do it somewhat more half-heartedly.

Billy: (muttering to his team) We’ve got this, easy.

Big Brother: This is Big Brother. Would Team Tisha please take to the performance area?

Tisha: Let’s rock the s**t out of this!

Team Tisha walk to the middle of the garden. Their music – “This is How We Do” by Katy Perry – starts and they begin their routine.

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Spencer and Billy forget their choreography, whilst Priscilla stops mid-routine to adjust her crotch area. Laura also has some difficulties with her hula hoop. The other team clap and Team Tisha take a seat on the benches.

V/O: 4:07pm. The housemates have been gathered in the living area for the results of today’s task.

Big Brother: This is Big Brother. Housemates, earlier today, you competed in Big Brother’s acrobatics championships. The panel have marked your performances, and the results are in.

Caitlyn: I’m nervous!

Jackson: You got that right.

Big Brother: Big Brother can reveal that the winners of today’s task, are…

Some housemates hold hands.

Big Brother: Team Candie. Congratulations, Team Candie. You will be rewarded with a banquet later this evening.

Candie: Aw, well done, team! We did it!

Priscilla: What a bloody fix. I mean, well done, love.

Billy and Spencer walk off.

Billy: (to Spencer) Well, that a waste of all of our time…

V/O: 5:51pm. Team Candie are enjoying the banquet that they won as part of today’s task, although thoughts have turned to the coming eviction.

Eloise: Look, we’ve all been through quite a lot and we’re only a few days in, but let’s just let bygones be bygones for now and just be a little harmonious for the eviction. We don’t know who’ll go, but it’ll be a shame to lose any of you and I’d just like to take this opportunity to raise a toast to you two and Laura. Good luck.

Eloise stands up and raises her glass. Others do the same.

Vivienne: Well said, Eloise. Well said.

Edwin: Yes. Bravo, and… so and so forth.

Team Candie tuck into their meal, whilst the other housemates look in from the garden.

Laura: (to Tisha) Do you think they’re talking about us?

Tisha: Yeah, probably. Well, it’s the eviction soon, so it’s going to be natural to talk about you and the others. You know. I wanted you all to stay, I don’t really want anyone to leave yet. And s**t like that.

The Team Tisha housemates continue to look in at the other housemates, who are enjoying the banquet and singing to music. The highlights fade out.

The camera cuts back to Emma, who is stood on her presenting podium.

Emma: So, since Tuesday, you’ve been voting in your thousands, and the results are now in. It’s time to talk to the house.

Emma crosses live to the house, where all housemates are sat in the living area. Laura receives a mixed reaction, Leon receives boos and a chant of ‘get Leon out’, and Simon receives mostly cheers.

Emma: Big Brother house, this is Emma. You are live to the nation, and they have decided your fates. Laura, Leon and Simon, for the past four days the Great British public have been voting to evict. The lines are closed, the votes have been counted and verified and I can now reveal that the first person to be evicted from the Big Brother house, is...

Some of the housemates hold hands.

Emma: LEON.



Cheers from the crowd are mixed with some shouts of ‘what?!’ from Billy and Spencer, whilst others offer consoling smiles and goodbye hugs.

Emma: Leon, you have lost your place in the Big Brother house, and you have thirty seconds to say your goodbyes.

Leon shrugs, pats Billy, Spencer and Tanvir on the back and paces towards the door.

Leon: In a while!

Leon walks through the doors and up the stairs, smartening up his black jacket in the mirror before he leaves. The main doors then open to a booing crowd. He walks down the stairs and his eviction music – “Mr Brightside” by The Killers – is played.

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Leon salutes to the crowd and tugs on his jacket as he poses for the cameras.

Emma: So, our slick Russian Romeo has been banished from Borehamwood with 68.7% of the vote, but why is it that his Big Brother story ended in tragedy? Find out in five!

The show goes to an advert break. After this break, Emma is sat in the studio, accompanied by Leon.

Emma: Welcome back to Big Brother, and to your first evictee, Leon!

The crowd inside the studio gives Leon a mixed reception.

Emma: So, erm… quite the reception out there tonight, I think it’s fair to say. Why do you think that was?

Leon: I speak my mind, definitely. So it may have been that. I don’t know.

Emma: And you did say that you didn’t expect to be here tonight, so how shocked are you to be sitting with me over your fellow two nominees?

Leon: Well, I did say that originally, but as the week went on I began to realise that my actions could be misinterpreted. I was just having a bit of fun, but everyone else was dull, weren’t they? Apart from Billy, and Spencer, and maybe Tanvir, though. In a way, I’m glad to be out and away from everyone else.

Emma: This is usually the point where I’d ask you to guess who nominated you, but as there were no nominations this week, I can’t do that! Anyway, you did collect a fair amount of coins, but they were taken away since you took them from Candie. Why did you do this?

Leon: Partly because it’s a game in there, and partly because it was so dull in there that it needed some fun, it needed some shaking up. Big Brother didn’t see it that way, obviously, but oh well.

Emma: We have to address the fact that you’re the first man to be evicted first in the civilian series, since before this, it’s always been women. Do you have any regrets about this?

Leon: None at all. If people couldn’t handle Leon Ivanov in that house, then that’s their fault and not mine.

Emma: Well, thanks, Leon. You’ve been an entertaining housemate in this short time, it’s got to be said! Here are your best bits.

Leon’s best bits – including clips of him accepting the offer of nominating in front of his fellow housemates for coins, burning the chicken, taking Candie’s coins in the coin hunt, being apparently seduced by Candie and taking part in the lie detector and acrobatics tasks – are aired as Emma walks back to her outside podium.

Emma: So, that’s it for tonight’s show! Leon’s out, but who will join him? Join Iain and Emma next on Late Edition, where Leon will be joined by Deana Uppal, Terry Christian and Patrick Strudwick, and then join Rylan on Monday with the Sister Show. I’ll be back here next Friday for the second live eviction, so until then, na-night!

A snippet of live feed is then shown, showing some of the housemates pouring drinks for themselves, whilst Billy is in mourning in the smoking area.