[user104658]

Well, I'll share even though it's not exactly a positive view on these things. My mum was an alcoholic for 10+ years. She went into hospital for the last time, and died of pneumonia/sepsis brought on by complete liver failure, earlier this year (March), 4 days after her 60th birthday.

First off, I would say don't dwell too much on the fact that she didn't confide in anyone. People get embarrassed about their own lack of control and find it hard to admit to themselves that they can't dort it out alone - let alone anyone else. My mum tried to pretend she wasn't drinking by putting her alcohol in coffee cups rather than glasses, she still did this for years after everyone knew about her alcoholism, and everyone knew what was in the cups (and she knew that everyone knew, too).

Secondly, you need to accept that there may be absolutely nothing you can do to help or to change the tracks for your friend. They will end where they end, it'll be completely down to who she is and whether or not she can pull out of it. You could drive yourself completely insane trying. Trust me. If you feel like you need to try because you wouldn't be able to forgive yourself if it all ended badly and you hadn't, then you of course definitely SHOULD try... but, don't feel like you've failed her if nothing changes.

Unfortunately, in my opinion the same goes for NHS rehab-type-things. My mum was taken in several times for weeks / a month + at a time to "dry out" from the physical addiction, but obviously, it never lasted for very long after leaving. A week at most, I suspect. There's just no point - it's not the addiction that needs addressing first and foremost... it's the underlying problems that caused the addiction to develop in the first place.

That's the part that means it's entirely down to the individual... and that's why, to be honest, it might be the case that no one else can help. Just be close by, be as supportive as you can be, but without letting yourself get so sucked in that you can't take a step back.

Counseling for the underlying anxiety and depression issues IS available on the NHS, though, so I don't know why your GP said it wasn't. The bad news is, the waiting lists are long (ridiculously long - sometimes a year or more) and the counseling itself isn't on par with what you would get privately.

So... anyway... sorry if this is a bit bleak. If anything, all I would genuinely say is that these things really don't always have a happy ending and you might need to prepare yourself for that. It's OK (good) to care but it's not something that you can help to fix, and just be aware of when to step back to preserve your own mental wellbeing. As impossible as it seems, mental illnesses are "infectious" in many ways.