[kirklancaster]

SHOULD 30 PENCE CAUSE OFFENCE?

Oh Hog, you do bring me mirth
As if 30p was costing the Earth?
'Tis not such a heavy load
When bowel threatens to explode.

And one should only be 'downhearted'
If after paying you only 'farted'
But if you 'unload' Oh what bliss
And a bonus if you also piss.

'30 p' is not such a blow
When not all that long ago
Piss almost covered one's feet
And crabs crawled around the seat.

And 'Newspapers' were needed no more
'Cos we just read the graffiti on the door.
And there was never any loo roll left!
So even 1p cost was just pure theft.

The morning after a spicy curry
It's nice not having to worry
about having to Find A Loo
To unload that Vind A Loo.

So dear Hog do not complain
that 30p is money down the drain
For me it is my firm belief
'tis cheap to gain such relief.