[Z]

"I know the truth about your children." Nate challenged Josei.
"I know how to design graphics, so what?" Josei shrugged nonchalantly.
"They aren't James Banthemall's children, are they? They're Niamhie's."
"Nimah and I are one soul in two bodies and sometimes we put those two bodies and that one soul together and two plus one equals three - three children."
"So you don't deny it?" Nate raised an eyebrow.
"No. I'm not ashamed. But know this, Nate Stark, when you play the chat and games of thrones, you win by PMing other people for votes, or you die."

Nate had stumbled upon the truth. It was quite sore but he'd only tripped down three steps - he stabbed the truth with his sword in revenge and watched the ****er bleed. He had been preparing himself for telling King James when he heard the news - the King had died trying to perma-ban a troll. Nate rushed to be by James' side and had found Josei there, all fake concern on her face. He couldn't believe his eyes - why hadn't she fled? Why was she still here? What did she mean to do? He crouched beside the King.

"Ah Nate, I knew they'd get me one day. You'd think I'd have learned after the social groups guy, you can't kill that which doesn't have a life in the first place."
"James... I can't believe this, is this really happening?"
"I want you to write down my will and testament. Everyone get out! Yes, you too woman, get out!" the King ordered the Queen and the assorted help out of the room.
"So..." Nate looked afraid.
"I'm scared of what Gypsygoffrey will do on the throne, Nate, so I want you to be the protector of the realm until she comes of age. Never trust a dyke that butch, she was the only one voting for Lucy Spraggan on the X Factor I'm telling you - cost the realm a fortune."
"I will do my best, my King..." the words died in Nate's throat, he couldn't bear to give him the news that Gypsygoffrey wasn't his, she was born of an incestuous lesbian relationship. Like attracts like and lesbians attract other lesbians, he thought to himself.
"Now write - you know how it goes, all the titles, yes..."

---

Shaun Snow had proven very good in training - he was the only man of the night who could handle a sword properly; his grip was impeccable and he could handle two at one time, even! Some of his fellow trainees weren't so adept - but Shaun himself was doing very well, much to the annoyance of Vanessalliser Thorne. She kept shouting that Shaun was not her Luke Friend, which Shaun didn't quite understand but ignored anyway. He had bigger things to worry about, like the swords in front of his face. He batted them away with a giggle. His uncle Benjamin had gone north to see if he could pick up any stray boys but hadn't returned - he'd been gone for weeks and there was concern that he'd been killed by a vigilante group. A search party was being prepared to go after him and Shaun wanted to be on it - but Grand Pimp Marshmont wasn't having any of it.

"Your place is here, boy, you're not ready to take on the men of the north - they're wild, animalistic, they'll split you in half and eat you when they're done - something we'd normally charge extra for but I'm talking in the cannibal sense. They're insane. You don't want to encounter them. Your uncle is lost to the north, it's a pity, he was great at his job - the BBC will never know how great, he was that good. He made Savile look like an amateur."
"I need to find him, you don't understand, I need to see him again and ask him why he did this to me. I loved him, I trusted him!" Shaun cried.
"That's how we always get 'em Shaun Snow, you know nothing!" Marshmont angrily struck Shaun - he was wearing a ring of gold plastic and it left a mark under Shaun's right eye.

Nonetheless, Shaun Snow went north of the wall with the party sent out to find his uncle. They found a wild woman, Billygritte and took her prisoner - she mocked Shaun Snow for being a virgin ***** and he pouted at her for most of the journey. Her responses were either "LMAO!" or "You know nothing, Shaun Snow LMAO" which annoyed him. They were ambushed by a group of wild north men and all bar Shaun Snow were slain, because of course he didn't die, he's a main character, stupid. He feared for his life and his virgin hole.

---

Rose McGowan watched her fagons twirl through the sky with her trusted advisor Ser Josiah by her side. Lucarion was the campest, whistling IYERRRR and being loud at all times - whilst Firewiria was the sassiest, snapping ha fingers and burning everyone she saw, like oh snap. LeatherTrumpetos was different from the others, he was the meanest, sometimes Rose worried that she wasn't like the others at all - perhaps he was not a true fagon after all - he was the hardest to control and was prone to spilling wine on himself. Still, her fagons would help her reclaim what was rightfully hers, she was sure of it.

---

MTVyrioN Lezsister had gone into the nearest Wetherspoons to watch the cricket because he was a basic bitch when he found himself in a spot of bother - Lady Caitlin Stark was there too drinking cider blacks and letting her inner lesbian come out while her husband was away. She'd spotted the chump and had taken him prisoner with the help of the biker dykes of Lesbos and had headed north to see her sister Lady Lilysa, captive in tow. The sellsword, Bronnzors, rode with them. The Mad Lady Lilysa and her freak son sat on the throne as the guests arrived. Lilysa had her massive chebs out and her son was sucking on them, despite being 19 years old. Caitlin winced at the scene.

"Sister! You honour me with your visit." Lilysa called out.
"Sister, it has been too long." Caitlin lied.
"You have brought the chump! He killed my husband!" Lilysa glared at the small man - MTVyrioN winked back at her. "And he likes cricket! He must die!"
"I demand a trial by walkway, my lady." MTVyrioN responded, earning mocking laughs from the crowd. "I choose my champion - Bronnzors, will you do me the honzors?"
"Loool" Bronnzors posed, sashaying down the runway with elegance and poise. The court's champion paled in significance and was ejected through the moon door. Yay! MTVyrioN was free to go.
"You have made a grave mistake, sister!" Caitlin stated gravely.
"It is you who have made the mistake, sister!" Lilysa replied.
"In what way?"
"In SHUT UP, that's what way!"

MTVyrioN and Bronnzors, an unlikely duo if ever there was one, made their way south, wondering what lay ahead.

---

The King's council had struck again - Lord Liviafinger had double crossed Nate Stark and had helped Queen Josei arrest Nate Stark and had him thrown in the dungeons; but Lord Vickys had snuck in to visit him and bring him news of the outside world - life had gone on but Saphsa was being slapped about for being a silly bitch and aristya had done a runner. Nate didn't know what to think. Saphsa had begged for his life and had been promised that Nate would be treated with mercy, but he knew that Gypsygoffrey was a Kelly Clarkson fan and would be really into angsty revenge anthems and didn't rate his chances of surviving for much longer.

"What should I do, Lord Vickys?" Nate asked.
"Dunno m8, there's not much love for me 'round these parts, I just get on with it tbh."
"What does Grand Marc Pycelle think?"
"Who cares, that bitch is old and irrelevant."
"True tbh."
"Tbh."

Vickys left him in the dark once more and Nate didn't see sunlight again until his trial.
"My mother, Queen Josei, and my betrothed, Saphsa, have begged for mercy for this man... but I say no mercy to no man! I hate men! They take good snatch and ruin it with child birth - I say no more! Off with this traitor's head!" She jeered, causing the crowd to cheer and boo with equal ferocity. Little aristya Stark was watching from the crowd and looked up ASDAWalmart deals for TVs that would show him the decapitation in the best quality for the cheapest price, while Saphsa stood on the platform and fell to her knees and hummed a k.d. lang song to calm herself. Josei's usually expressionless face looked troubled for a mere moment but regained its usual composure as Nate's head left its body.

---

"I am the true King!" Glennly Banthemall stood staring at himself in the mirror, his lover Thomas C Tyrell stood behind him. They were both naked - they were lovers. Glennly admired himself in the mirror while Thomas ran behind a curtain and hurriedly threw on a dress and some lippy. He trotted out with one high heel on, trying to get the other on, and became his "sister" Marge.

"Oh my King, you are so gallant and brave!"
"Thank you, my Queen." Glennly smirked.
"Tell me I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, am I not?"
"The fairest maiden in the land - but I'm afraid we cannot be man and wife proper... I... I can't have sex with you, I'm in love with your brother."
"No worries Glennly, it's still me." Thomas said in a loud whisper.
"Ffs I know, play along!" Glennly hissed back.
"Ah, yes, of course, sorry. Right. My lord, I don't mind, we could get my brother in here to get you going if that would please you?"
"OMG no that's disgusting!" Glennly feigned horror.
His loyal servant, Ammienne of Tarth knocked on the door.
"My lady, do come in." Princess Marge called out.
"My lord, my lady, I have Lady Caitlin Stark here to see you."
"I'll be leaving then." Marge picked up her pants and left the room. Lady Caitlin entered and greeted Glennly.

Suddenly, a shadowy figure with the face of Icemannis Banthemall entered the room and stabbed Glennly to death!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ammienne of Tarth and Caitlin Stark fled the scene of Glennly's death, terrified and alone. Also, Locke Stark defeated Niamhie Lezsister in battle and took her prisoner!!!!!!!!