It probably is selfish really, I know we didn't make the decision to cut back on visits for my grans sake above all else. Partly though, as she was getting distressed seeing a bunch of strangers walk into her room, then when she finally remembered us (or pretended too..I'm still not convinced she ever did, more acted that way as she thought that was what she was meant to do) being still all nervous and such..thinking my dad was her husband...it was just awful. But yeah, I didn't visit her again at all after a few times as when she 'remembered' me she seemed to HATE me..I didn't see what good it would do her and it was upsetting me badly. It was also severely distressing to hear her talk about ending her own life, which was pretty regular.
My dad kept visits to a minimum (once a week instead of every other day)
My sister didn't go back after being accused of hitting on my grans husband (her own dad
) either..even though it was explained to her that my gran didnt realize what she was saying and stuff...it upset her way too much.
But yeah,. it was entirely selfish really. I get that. I don't regret it though as now besides a few incidents I mainly remember her as the woman she was, not what the illness turned her into.