[Rob!]

Originally Posted by LemonJam

You know what, I'm very drunk I'm gonna go on a rant which I will inevitably regret tomorrow morning.

I've lived in London for 5 years after living on a very small, secluded, closed minded island with a Catholic family that I've never felt like I could come out to. As somebody who generally gets on with straight guys more than girls or gay dudes I've faced a lot of rejection and had a lot of shame for who I am and it totally ****ed me up as a person. I've faced depression and anxiety and even tried commit suicide just because of the person I am.

The last year I came out as a gay man and I've been so much more happy and felt so much more accepted. Like most my friends in London are straight blokes and they will still high five me if I hooked up with a guy in the same way that they'll high five each other if they hooked up with a girl. I could talk openly and honestly about who I am without feeling different from them and I'd never been happier with who I am. They pretty much saved my life.

Now I'm back on my home island for a few months and the people who I call friends frequently joke about me being a gay man, telling me I'm "less of a man" and frequently call me a "fag" or "****" and they constantly try to demean me because of my sexuality DESPITE knowing that I've had mental health problems in the past and I don't know how much longer I can deal with it. I've worked so, so, so ****ing hard over the last few years in building the confidence with myself (like a huge reason I didn't post that much on this forum for ages is because I didn't think I fitted in, which is absolutely pathetic cos y'all are weird af ) and as I'm about to go travelling before I came back home I felt ready, but now I'm questioning if I'm as secure of a person as I should be.

I basically only came back to the island for my family because I haven't really seen them for a long period of time for two years but I feel like I need to be back in London for my own sanity.

So yeah I just needed to get that off my chest while there's a thread like this still around...