[Will.]

Hello, welcome my darlings x,

The supermarket is closed after a tragic event - read thread to see what happened.

My shopping mall has now also closed.

We have moved to the Solana in Benidorm for a new adventure.




Our wonderful staff: (All photos aren't of the actual person, it's all made up and none it is real, the photos aren't there to cause harm or offence.)


Beryl - security guard



Beryl Cheryl Meryl Streep Fernandez-Versini is the supermarkets go to girl. Beryl grew up with forty brothers so it's no wonder she's a dyke and loves carpet. She also had a sister but Beryl killed her because she wanted to be the only dyke in the famalam. Beryl used to be dating former colleague Pavlo Cheesynachos in an attempt to fleece him of £5 but he found out about her plan and dumped ha leading ha to having a breakdown.



Kathy



Kathy/Deb is Norah Lickmeout's old flame but their passion never died. Kathy has recently changed her name to Deb in the store and chopped off all her hair after the ghost of Adjoa Mensah who she resurrected threatened to put a deadly curse in her if she didn't lick Adjoa's pussay. Kathy stayed faithful to Norah and said 'There's only one woman for me' so had to change her name before Adjoa tracked her down and cursed ha.

Mary O'Leary - Cafe manager



BB legend Mary O'Leary has joined the employees at Will's supermarket under her new job description as 'Cafe manager.' Saskia Howard-Clarke originally applied for the job but was turned down because her boobs were false according to Will causing her to have a breakdown and say she hopes worker LaDaysha Minaj die. She assured to the Blackpool gazette this wasn't a racist comment because as she quotes 'I can't be racist I'm a quarter Sri-Lankan'. Mary's dog also applied for the job but after waiting till 4 in the morning for the dog to arrive Will eventually was left with no option than to offer Mary O'Leary the job.

While being interviewed by Roberto Conte, Mary commented 'I wanted to show my other talents. I can cook really fast with my witch powers I can whip up a curry faster than Makosi can say Cherry Tango.' Roberto interrupted her in her interview asking why she never cooked in the house and Mary appeared to scream back 'Roberto, Roberto! ROBERTO!' before flying off on her broomstick, while on her journey home Mary crashed into the stores parking lot and was rushed to hospital. Saskia Howard-Clarke was arrested outside hospital after taking Mary's monitor off 'THEY'RE HEART SURGERY SCARS BITCH' could be heard in Southport and the police were alerted.




Norah - head assistant



Norah who is now working on customer services. Norah has joined Will's supermarket after finding herself left jobless after her husband was tragically murdered by Kathy. Norah and Kathy have history as they used to be lesbians who would sit in McDonalds toilets and try to resurrect the sole of Adjoa Mensah. Adjoa was resurrected and left them some wide words 'Pussay'. Norah also has a criminal history of fondling the queens breasts.


Naomi Parks-Cambell



Meet the owner of the malls trendiest fashion outlet, 'WERK'. Naomi is the fierce granddaughter of Britney and nobody stands in Naomi's way. Naomi was supposed to appear on the tenth season of the apprentice as a contestant but was disqualified from the competition after spitting in Karren Brady's ear after Karren Brady said that a fashion outlet which sells just hopped earrings would jot take off. Thus, Sarah Dales was born.

Naomi went worldwide with her outlet 'WERK' but the store went into liquidation after half an hour. After offering to suck Will off for a shop in the mall, Will agreed to open 'WERK' in the mall. Naomi is one fierce bitch and people know that, she killed her grandad after he ate some of her popcorn chicken from her KFC bucket. Her grandfathers grusome death was caused by Naomi bludgeoning him to death with some new high heels that she had bought from asos. The incident lead to her going to prison in late 2013, she made an appeal to the judge and said that she can't help being fierce and was let back into the working world.

Britney and Naomi have a strained relationship after Naomi murdered Britneys husband. Britney scalped Naomi of her weave after the incident but Naomi impaled her in the throat with a gold hooped earring.

Naomi has a tattoo on her lady gardens of her true love Dwayne Pipes who she met at school, the pair had a baby at thirteen but after people gave the baby more attention than Naomi she chose to give it away as she was desperate for attention. Dwayne landed in prison back in 2008 after taking the KFC in Croydon hostage, Naomi has not heard of him since.