[Amy]

Some housemates are more insightful than others...

As the housemates dozed and grazed their way through an uneventful morning Big Brother made an announcement: "Could the most insightful housemate please come to the Diary Room."

The ensuing stampede wouldn't have looked out of place if Madonna had launched a range of jewellery at Elizabeth Duke.

Gerry's eyes darted immediately towards the door, but he was already too late. Carole and Jonathan were elbowing each other out of the way as they tried to leave the bedroom. Brian, displaying the athletic prowess of a gazelle, vaulted over furniture in a vain attempt to beat Carole and Jonathan to the Diary Room door.

"I'm the most insightful," he cried defiantly as he tried to wrestle Carole and Jonathan out of the way.

"You two don't know nowt. I know stuff about popular culture and youth culture and that," he added with a flourish.

"Let her have it - she's a control freak," spat Jonathan walking away. Brian was on fire.

"I'm insightful, I'm insightful," he cried almost pitifully.

Then, Jonathan re-entered the fray and grabbed the Diary Room door handle with a vice-like grip.

"You can have it when you take my cold dead hands..." his voice trailed off as he attempted another bluff.

"Alright," he said sounding defeated. "Ladies first," before trying to get Carole in a headlock.

And then a late starter arrived. "I think it's me actually," said Laura loudly, "it's the most logical, not the most excitable," she added, pulling a face at Brian.

"I'm insightful, I'm insightful," cried Brian like a child that's just had it's ice cream stolen.

Maybe next time, eh Brian?

Article Channel 4