[Lostie!]

You got: reality TV and an unreal romance

Your life seems pretty boring right now, doesn’t it? You wake up, do the same old **** every day, and go back to bed. You set 8 alarms and snooze 7 of them. The most exhilarating thing that ever happens to you is low battery on your phone. WELL, WELL. That is ALL about to change. An unforeseeable internet scandal will propel you to fame and you’ll get invited to participate in a Big Brother-style reality TV show. THERE, you’ll fall in love with a fellow contestant and have a shotgun wedding ON NATIONAL TV. You’ll have 18 children, all Mensa-certified geniuses, and you’ll finally earn your parents’ love! I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU.