[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

I had a myopic lumbersexual pal who could not see the wood for the trees

His fave dating app was timber

He,would get so frustrated he would tie himself in knots

And his favourite pop song was 'Sex on the Beech'.

His favourite Gilbert and Sullivan song was 'Tit Willow'.

He loved orgies so he could say: 'Trees Up'

And he often asked promiscuous trees "Can I **** you for a spell?" And loved to hear the response 'OAK ay.'

He worked part time in a Bank as 'A Branch Manager'

He loved taking sexy trees Trunks down.

He was also into S & M and loved a bit of Birch.

He even saw a psychiatrist to try to find out the Root cause of his obsession with trees.

He keeps that beard trimmed and his checked shirts clean because he loved to 'Spruce' up a bit.

I'm bored now so I'm going to Leaf it alone.