14 ~ Kimmi Kappenberg
Survivor: Cambodia - Second Chance (6th Place)
The entire resurgence of Kimmi Kappenberg in 2015 still seems like fan fiction so let me explain:
She originally appeared on the second season of Survivor and was a smelly vegetarian hippie who annoyed her entire tribe by sharing stories about masturbation, threesomes, someone's finger being up her ass, etc. A majority of her tribe tip-toed around her just to avoid being sucked into a conversation with her. She couldn't eat a pig brain during an Immunity Challenge but was able to eat a worm and still win for her tribe. She got in an argument with Alicia about the f
ucking chickens and the rate at which they were eating them. Her other tribe members commented on how she had dirt lines while other people had tan lines. She was voted out 5th was forgotten in pre-merge lore, but she took down the entire Kucha tribe with her because she revealed that Jeff Varner had received a vote against him.
I loooooooved Kimmi but thought that was all I was gonna get from her. She was a 5th boot from 2001 and she had no business being in modern day Survivor. SOMEHOW she was put on the ballot for Cambodia and due to the campaigns such as #GimmeKimmi and #Gays4Kimmi she someone made it on! (said campaign videos are embedded below)
Unfortunately when Kimmi got on Cambodia, the editors did her dirty and pretty much wrote her out of existence entirely! That's not to say she didn't entertain because I still lived for her UTR fun moments like this one
idk why there are air quotes
Kimmi only popped up randomly in the fifth episode to ice Monica because she thought Kimmi was catching too many clams
and even late game Kimmi only popped up to make a half-hearted girls alliance after already rejecting Monica's
it was so disappointing but Kimmi was still one of my favorites because duh it's Kimmi, and Cambodia was that awful. Yes it was, don't let anyone tell you differently.
So let's get to Kimmi's funale performance because it truly was an all-time great one! She secretly flipped on her allies Jeremy, Spencer, and Tasha and set out to get Jeremy out once Spencer won Immunity. Jeremy/Spencer and Kimmi had an epic square-off
during Tribal Council, and after multiple deadlocked votes, two Hidden Immunity Idols, and a shady tiebreaker call, Kimmi was tragically eliminated in sixth place. Yes, it took all of that to get Kimmi out, and it still worked because the lovable Keith Nale almost sacrificed himself because Kimmi's a mom and she's waited fourteen years to return
and then Kimmi made the most out of her Final TC speech by delivering us this gif set
the whole Kimmi experience is still surreal, especially when you look deeper into her secret scenes and post-show stuff and learn that she was a legitimate contender to win! I don't know why the editors did her dirty, and it still pisses me off, but Kimmi was still able to shine in spite of her atrocious edit. We also learned post-show that Kimmi's speech made Spencer cry (
) and she would have voted for Abi-Maria over him because "if we saw him play as well as you (the viewing public) think he did, he would have at least gotten one vote"
k this was an obnoxious write up but I am a #Gay4Kimmi so what do you expect.
Clue for #13: