[kirklancaster]

Listen to a man of sexperience (is that a typo? ):

If he is sexy, handsome, witty, charming and rich - and the man of your dreams - wear some very revealing clothes, clutch a copy of Plato's 'The Republic', Robert Kiyosaki's 'Rich Dad, Poor Dad', and a graphically illustrated copy of 'The Kama Sutra Vatsayana', then be sure to weave into the conversation memorised tracts of text such as;

"Don't you think Freud's theories on psychosexual development are highly comparable to Marx and Engels Ideology of Communism? - I just simply adore reading a little of both whilst listening to Bartok's Concerto For Orchestra, after a marathon 6 hour sex session."

You will NOT fail to hook him.

If he is a minger, then hide the books and talk incessantly about your 'frigidity' and 'repressed sexuality' and your obsession with marriage.

Tell him how drawn to him you are and how you cannot help picturing him as your husband. Talk about the wedding and explain your mneumonic for remembering the order of the ceremony;

1) Walking down the aisle
2) Standing in front of the altar
3) Singing the hymn.

Keep repeating this aloud:

Aisle altar hymn. Aisle altar hym. Aisle altar hymn.

Watch him RUN.

I do hope that I've been helpful Ash.