Wow great pleas
They're really hard to follow but I'll speak from the heart, Kirk.
You're the reason I breath, the reason I get out of bed every morning, the reason I've started doing kegal exercises again (fyi, I've never been tighter).
You deserve better than basic. You deserve flowers and rainbows and puppies n sh!t.
And unlike the rest of these basic hoes; I'm loving, I'm kind, I'm hygienic (down there), and I have an expertly trained gag reflex.
And I'm not one to gossip, but everyone knows that Amy Jade is only after you for your money, Professor Smooth has herpes, and SuperV has been having it off with one of the other contestants (the VILE Johnny I believe
). I'm like totes the best option tbh. (Plus I want to stay in the competition longer so Nicky will start stanning me.)
Anyway, I won't be around for tonight's ceremony I'm afraid, but I hope you look in your heart (and your pants) and make the right decision.
So pick me
(Also, I don't take rejection well and I know where you live. Just sayin'...)
