[MB.]

idk if this has been posted but it's fairly amusing I guess

As Donald Trump gets his latest dose of stick for his support of torture, people in Britain seem ignorant of the fact that not only does torture occur in this country, but it is, in fact, televised.

Celebrity Big Brother was once just a showbiz variant of a simple idea, and we seemed satisfied to watch what happened when a group of people were imprisoned in exchange for six months of Heat magazine exclusives and a fitness DVD contract. In response to our withering attention spans, though, some sort of celebrity mutation scheme has taken place and the house is now populated with the results of the lab; monstrous, self-involved freaks, who stomp around the house screaming about what they have been through and how their issue is more important than the issue of whatever other freak they seem to be talking to. Then they make up with that freak, and then those two freaks gang up on another one of the freaks. If this sounds exaggerated, consider the fact that Jedward often seem the most measured people in the house.

Self-awareness is as rare as rocking-horse **** in this show. Take Ray J, of Kim Kardashian sex-tape fame, who, when asked whether the sex tape was the most important thing in his career, said the tape was one of the most important things that had ever happened. Ever. I immediately contacted my sons’ school for assurances that “Ray J banging Kim K” hadn’t been added to the world history syllabus.

The effect of having contestants who have already been on the show before is that the game-playing element is now celebrated rather than reviled. Kim Woodburn from How Clean is Your House?, fresh from suffocating former partner Aggie MacKenzie to death, joined the Big Brother housemates late and proceeded to try to make Robert Mugabe look reasonable. When splashed with water by Chloe Ferry from Geordie Shore, AKA Geordie Stereotype, she unleashed a rage-filled diatribe that you might hold in reserve for when somebody has run over one of your kids.

The producers of the show, whom we are encouraged to refer to cultishly as “Big Brother”, have also upped the stakes by undermining any signs of happiness from the house. Whenever a relationship is forged, the show immediately finds ways to create friction and tear it apart. If anyone has slagged anyone else off behind their back, Big Brother will engineer a game that requires the housemates to watch the footage so that we can sit back and enjoy the fallout. I expect the next series will show the footage before dropping in boxes of hand-to-hand combat weaponry, so we can enjoy the prospect of Katie Hopkins being skinned alive by Louie Spence, while Lucy Spraggan plays her latest single in the background.

https://www.theguardian.com/commenti...iss-an-episode