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Impromptu ranking of my top five characters:

Spoiler:

5) Eleanor's mum
4) Tahani, but only in the version where she and Eleanor are soul mates
3) Jason because he's trash and I want to marry him and that raises a lot of questions regarding my lack of self-worth
2) Janet: g.oddess, icon, mother
1) Mindy St. Claire (a middle-aged coke addict living in a constant state of eternal mediocrity who only shows up to annoy the other characters with her masturbation habits? Where the fork do I sign up?)