...being an adult is being fully grown and fully developed and I’m not sure I’ve ever felt that in many ways...I guess though, my body became fully grown and fully developed, somewhere in my later teen years..and the law was telling me I could do adult things, I could vote, I could drink alcohol or smoke a cigarette if I wanted to, it’s all legal now, was what I was being told...but I don’t think I felt any different...I stopped being a dependant when I didn’t live with my parents anymore and then eventually had my own little dependants...I don’t think my independence from my parents made me feel I had finally become an adult though ...because I was always asking my parents stuff...mum, how do you cook this or what would you do, this is a bit tricky this situation...how can I do this and that, type of thing....then I had my own dependents, my own children...and that didn’t make me feel adult either, it just made me quite terrified and clueless...if I hadn’t had my mum in those early days of parenthood, who was the real adult...I’m not sure my children would have survived, well my first child anyway...I just screamed help and my mum was there to save my first born from my cluelessness....
....anyways, every stage and every phase I’ve gone through, has just been different in that they’ve become ‘firsts’...so, many aspects have often left me feeling a bit lost and not very adult at all...I have adult children now and being the parent of adult children is different from being the parenting of dependant children...so each day I’m always always learning to try to become an adult with that..
...that stepping back to respect their adulthood, while trying to know when they need you to become ‘the adult’ to them again, now and again...and then there are so many other things in life, like illnesses and huge things to overcome, when an adult can become a child again and so desperately need their parents or those around them to take more of an ‘adult role’ for them...I don’t ever want to become ‘an adult’ by definition because I don’t want to become ‘fully’ anything, I want to discover and learn and I want to continue experiencing all of those unknown ‘firsts’, if I’m able to...I’ll become an adult when I die, I guess...that’s something I’ll have to go through and experience completely on my own, so that will probably make me a proper adult and all grown up...