[SiMoN!]

The housemates are about to create a dance sensation that sweeps the nation. (Big Brother's words, not ours.)

For their latest task, the group must form a uniquely brilliant dance troupe. Each housemate must create a dance move that has never been seen before and "defies belief".

The group choreographer must then assemble their original routines into one magnificent whole.

"I've choreographed before, I can use my skills," crowed Richard, immediately volunteering himself for the job. "It's a very gay job," he insisted.

Within minutes the housemates were squeezing into their very tasteful clobber - tight black vests with red slacks for the boys, luminous little yellow dresses for the girls - and thinking up names for their troupe.

"The idiots," suggested Glyn.

"Bunch of w*****," offered Aisleyne. "I think that's quite good," she added without sarcasm. Then she excelled herself with the imaginative: "Six hot chicks, three with d****."

But it was Richard who took control of the situation, deciding it would be something involving the word 'plastic'.

The housemates were informed they'd have 90 minutes to create the whole shebang. Then the music started, and the silly dancing began...