[Jackie]

Finally, some news that doesn’t make us want to hide under our duvet for a very long time… Scottish politician John is now favourite to win Big Brother: Celebrity Hijack. We, and millions of others, spent last night cringing as poor John was subjected to Matt Lucas’ most brilliantly embarrassing instructions – but John’s actually done alright out of the humiliation because, as well as securing a place in the final, he’s now bookies’ favourite to win the show. John was joint favourite (along with Victor) before the series even started, but now, according to Paddy Power, he’s way ahead, with odds of 9-4. Since arriving in the house last night, John and his fellow “gifted” individuals have mostly been spending their time showing off their talents – something which has not gone unnoticed by those hot-blooded cameraman who seem to have taken a shine to extremely bendy circus performer Emilia. Watch out fellas, we have a feeling her brother might not like that at all…