[Red Moon]

Why I find X Factor excruciating, but wouldn't miss it for the world

So, tonight's the night.

The final of The X Factor has become as much of a seasonal landmark as glitter, robins and discounted stacks of Christmas crackers.

By the end of the evening, after two shows spun out over nearly three hours, we will at last know which of the trio of acts has won.

Will it be soul-shouter Alexandra Burke, hairy Smurf Eoghan Quigg or limp boy band JLS?

Well, I don't mean to be rude, as Simon Cowell always says, but has anyone noticed that none of them is actually any good?

OK, admittedly Alexandra has at least a spark of star quality. When she is not screaming through her upper register like an out-of-control jet, or acting all humble in front of the judges, she has a gutsy presence and an ability to make a song her own.

The 20-year-old from north London is tipped to win tonight, and she certainly deserves to wear this year's X Factor crown.

In her thunderous slipstream, the other two acts trail like lost kites.
What is it with Eoghan? He always looks like he's just woken up under a toadstool. Perhaps his appeal is strictly limited to lisping little girls who still believe that their teddy bears can speak.

Meanwhile, JLS seem lacklustre and just that little bit too ordinary to inspire lasting feelings of devotion in their core teen audience.

Which exactly pinpoints part of the current X Factor malaise; where has all the magic gone? And is this show in need of some X factor all of its own?

Tonight, millions of votes will be cast, gallons of salt tears will be shed and a battery of cannon will fire tons of shiny confetti over contestants and judges alike. Yet despite the waterworks and the fireworks, something is turning sour at the heart of this popular talent contest.

A dark shadow has fallen over the proceedings this year, one not just caused by Cheryl Cole's towering up-dos, which put Marge Simpson's tame efforts to shame.

There is always something to be said for cheerful entertainment that all the family can watch together. But increasingly, The X Factor is not quite what it purports to be. No more just a simple talent contest, it has become a cynical machine that manufactures and manipulates at every stage of the process.

It starts with the uncomfortable public humiliation of the early rounds, when many who audition look like they've just escaped from their care in the community programmes.

The next stage is my own personal watershed, when youngsters who have had their hopes raised are sent home in defeat. The moment when they tell their whole family, usually crowded into tiny living rooms, breaks my heart. I've had to stop watching it because it makes me cry so much.

Of course, any show which repeats a formula is in danger of becoming a cliche, but the degree of manipulation on The X Factor is reaching toxic levels. Every week it becomes more of a pantomime, complete with villain (Simon), wicked witch (Dannii) sweet princess (Cheryl) and old queen (Louis).

Every year the contestants themselves become more knowing and crafty, understanding that a tragic background is a vote winner. Crooner Daniel Evans, who could barely carry a tune in a bucket, won the hearts of viewers this year when he told how his beloved wife died after childbirth in 2007.

Despite his lack of talent, he got voted back in week after week, an X Factor version of Strictly Come Dancing's clod-hopping John Sergeant. To keep his popularity high, Evans wasn't exactly singing songs like My Dead Wife or Me And Mrs Dead, but that was the general intention.

The worst thing about The X Factor is the pernicious effect it has on dreamy teenagers, who are encouraged to feel that stardom and easy riches are theirs for the taking, no matter how monumental their lack of talent.

One of my friends, a high-achieving television executive who works on big-budget costume dramas, was recently asked to give a talk to sixth-formers at a London school. Before she did so, the headmaster had a special request.

Could she, he wondered, please emphasise how demanding her position was and stress how hard she had worked to attain her success.

'You see,' he explained, 'the pupils have become so affected by The X Factor culture. They think that getting a job in showbusiness or television is easy. The show is having a very destructive effect on their ambition.'

Certainly, there seems to be some fracture of objective and intent out there. So many of the contestants, at the early auditions and beyond, appear to feel that they are owed a place in the spotlight simply because they want it so much; they feel that they deserve it just because they desire it.

The fact that they have no visible means of entertaining anyone is irrelevant. And if they are not wanting, they are fighting. When Ruth Lorenzo was voted off, she vowed to carry on fighting. Fight what, exactly? Or whom?

Tonight, it will be obvious - as it has been all along - that the judges and The X Factor producers are absolutely desperate for Alexandra to win. Since Leona Lewis, who triumphed in 2006 and went on to become a worldwide success, the show has lacked any semblance of a real star.

No one can even remember the names of the winning contestants from the other years, a harsh lesson X Factor fans who dream of stardom for themselves would do well to learn.

In the meantime, it's business as usual. Tonight there will be the usual manufactured rivalry between the judges, the usual hyperventilating from the contestants and the usual sight of Cheryl dissolving into tears before the first ad break.

Yes, it's awful. And yes, I can hardly wait.

Source:

Daily Mail