[lily.]

The following people were obviously suffering from Brain Cramps:


Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
Miss America 1995 from Alabama
Heather Whitestone


"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
Popular Pop Singer
Mariah Carey


"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
(During an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.)
Model, movie and TV actress
Brooke Shields


"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
University of Kentucky Basketball Forward
Winston Bennett


"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
Washington DC Mayor
Marion Barry


"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." (Commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.)
First Lady and Democratic Senator from New York
Hillary Clinton


"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
A congressional candidate in Texas


"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
Philadelphia Phillies Manager
Danny Ozark


"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
Vice President
Al Gore


"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
Vice President
Al Gore


"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
Vice President
Dan Quayle


"We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves, how much clean air do we need?"
Chrysler Chairman and CEO
Lee Iacocca


"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
NFL Quarterback and Sports Analyst
Joe Theisman


"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
ROTC Instructor
Colonel Gerald Wellman


"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
President
Bill Clinton


"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
Keppel Enderbery


"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
Greenville, South Carolina Department of Social Services


"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
FCC Chairman
Mark S. Fowler

[Lance]

LMAO, Stropz. That's a good one. Shall have to add that to my favourites along with the stoopid humans one.

Is this what you couldn't drag yourself away from the forum to do?

[Ella]

Heheheh made me giggle! Was lost on the first one though....guess thats the whole point though eh?!?

[jrc]

"We are the President", PSML Stropz!

[lily.]

Yeah, they are quite good. A nice change from the current forum situation eh Lance?

[Lance]

Originally posted by Stropz
Yeah, they are quite good. A nice change from the current forum situation eh Lance?

Indeed. Have you read the "Stoopid Humans" thread I posted? It is quite similar to this thread. Makes me laugh every time I read it.

[Fangz]

The Mariah Carey one is apparently fake, but what a great post! A***

[James]

Those are very funny, they remind me of Murray Walker's finest moments and Colmanballs.

[Razmataz]

Must admit i feel like a duck now.

[EugeneSully]

I feel like a piece of chewing gum on the bottom of someone's shoe.

[ThaGazBoi]

Originally posted by EugeneSully
I feel like a piece of chewing gum on the bottom of someone's shoe.

Thats ridicolous. You'd be all squashed up and ewwy.

[EugeneSully]

Originally posted by CrazyGazza

Thats ridicolous. You'd be all squashed up and ewwy.

well I do feel squashed up and ewwy so I have no need to complain!!!

[lily.]

Gaz, ur avvy's are cracking me up tonight. U keep changing them and they are well funny!

[ThaGazBoi]

I know, There wicked

I knick them off peoples Piczo websites lol

[EugeneSully]

I can't see my new avvy of kinga, I don't even know if it has changed yet.

[ThaGazBoi]

It is, Press F5 on your keyboard. That will work

[EugeneSully]

I've done that several times. oh well I don't care, as long as it has changed cause that pic of me just annoys me.