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Kate! · 01-02-2012, 01:55 PM

SillyScopes

Your daily outlook

Wednesday 1st February 2012

Aquarius

A good day for tidying around the house. You may find something you thought you'd lost forever. You may also find your partners secret porn stash.
Not a good day for attempting to transport home a curtain pole and a small coffee table on public transport, pensioners can hit very hard with their walking sticks, you know. Lucky Colour: Black/Blue.

Pisces

A good day for taking up a new hobby. Try something completely different, like origami using your mum's best table cloth. Not a good day for having friends round and ordering an 18inch pizza with sliced banana and shredded duck toppings and expecting the person who answers the phone to know that you are joking and bring you "your usual". Lucky colour: Yellow.

Aries

A good day for meeting up with friends. Choose wisely from your address book, pick people who you are more successful than, so you will feel good about yourself afterwards. Not a good day for "going commando" under a skirt or kilt, it's very windy out and old Mr Jones from next door has a weak heart. Lucky colour: Bright Pink.

Taurus

A good day for applying for new jobs. Tip, do it on company time very discreetly, open separate tabs - making sure one is about Very Important Business, and keep your eye on the door to your boss's office. Not a good day for forgetting to take your diary and newspaper home after work, you will only turn up the next day to find your boss has read both, seen the circled job adverts and the nickname you have for him/her. Lucky colour: Crimson.

Gemini

A good day for having the relatives/neighbours round for tea. Make them all their favourite things, put one of their favourite films on for them, ply them with booze and then how can they say no to whatever favours you want from them afterwards. Get it in writing. Not a good day for pretending to be out when the Window Cleaner calls for his money, don't forget, he has a very long ladder and can see you in your bedroom, dancing like a loon in your leopard print dressing gown to "Sexy and I know it!" Lucky Animal: Turtle.

Cancer

A good day for catching up on all your unanswered emails, hang on..... 557 of the bliddy things!!! Delete all the spam and junk, especially the 301 from Pornstars are us, and then you are left with 8. Send lovely long replies and feel very virtuous. Not a good day for lying through your teeth to your mother that yes you are looking after yourself properly, and no you don't drink more than the recommended daily units of alcohol EVER. You will push your trolley out of the drinks aisle at Tesco Metro and bump straight into her and Auntie Jezebel, with half the contents of your trolley being of the cider and wine variety. Lucky animal: Lion.

Leo
A good day for starting a new fitness class. Ring up and register right now. Go shopping for some nice new sporty gear to work out in. Don't be tempted down to the pub if you bump into friends while you are out, remember, New Year, New you! Not a good day for trying to jump the queue at the bar while out for an evening "last quick drink" before your new health routine kicks in. The receptionist from the gym will be behind the bar, she has two jobs silly! and will give you evils. Lucky animal: Cow.

Virgo
A good day for thinking about, and planning to redecorate. You are in a very organised mood, and feeling creative. Ignore what your other half/housemate/children say about the colour schemes etc, if you want to live in a tart's boudoir, go for it. Not a good day for asking to borrow money to pay for decorating materials. Refusals often offend. Lucky animal: Bulldog.

Libra

A good day for giving up a vice, be it smoking, drinking or whatever. You will be full of determination and willpower and make a very successful start. Friends and family will be very supportive also. Not a good day for visiting the local supermarket for a few household products and seeing all the half price offers on wine, chocolate and icecream, and breaking down and filling two trolleys in a moment of madness. Lucky animal: Pig.

Scorpio

A good day for relaxing, you will be in a very laid back, chilled mood. Turn off the phone, kick off your shoes and veg out on the couch with a nice mug of milky hot chocolate or your preferred beverage, and a juicy jam butty. Not a good day for trying to do too much, you will stress yourself out and say stuff you really shouldn't. Like telling Clive from number 16 that his wife services the postman every Tuesday and Thursday morning. Lucky Food: Stir Fry.

Sagittarius

A good day for entering competitions, your puzzle solving skills are at a high. Buy a load of newspapers and enter all the crossword and wordsearch puzzle competitions. You are on a lucky streak so chances of a win are high. Not a good day for cleaning out the garage. The roof may be weak and collapse on your head. Don't risk it. Lucky Food: Chips and Mushy Peas.

Capricorn

A good day for resolving any differences. Get in touch with someone you may have fallen out with and make amends. You never know when they may come in useful, and you will feel the better person for doing so, can't beat having the moral highground. Not a good day for singing in the shower, soap is very slippy and you need to pay attention rather than using the backscrub brush as a microphone and murdering a classic. A trip to hospital may follow. Lucky animal: Hyena.

Benjamin · 01-02-2012, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Kate*

Gemini

more in a bit.....brb

Wow, what a great day for me...

Kate! · 01-02-2012, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ukturtle

Wow, what a great day for me...

hold on, coming soon....

Jordan. · 01-02-2012, 02:28 PM

Chop chop Kate, I can't go about my day until I know what is in store for the Cancerians.

Shaun · 01-02-2012, 02:30 PM

i am not ****ing tidying up kate :@

Benjamin · 01-02-2012, 02:31 PM

-rings Mystic Meg for an update-

Shaun · 01-02-2012, 02:32 PM

also it's the 1st

Black Dagger · 01-02-2012, 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ukturtle

-rings Mystic Meg for an update-

Mystic Meg is ****e, Kate > Meg

Roy Mars III · 01-02-2012, 02:37 PM

Well at least you did the important ones

Benjamin · 01-02-2012, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Black Dagger

Mystic Meg is ****e, Kate > Meg

Mystic Meg gives a quicker response time.

Black Dagger · 01-02-2012, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ukturtle

Mystic Meg gives a quicker response time.

Mystic Meg says I've found the love of my life every-day for the past six months, note to Meg, I ****ING HAVEN'T.

Kate! · 01-02-2012, 02:42 PM

Mystic Meg is a hoe bag.

Kate! · 01-02-2012, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ukturtle

Mystic Meg gives a quicker response time.

You can't rush the crystal balls

Benjamin · 01-02-2012, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Black Dagger

Mystic Meg says I've found the love of my life every-day for the past six months, note to Meg, I ****ING HAVEN'T.

Maybe you have. Maybe they are on TiBB.

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Kate*

You can't rush the crystal balls

I can bloody well rush what I like.

Benjamin · 01-02-2012, 02:47 PM

**** making anyone tea. They can make their sodding own, the lazy bastards.

Black Dagger · 01-02-2012, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ukturtle

Maybe you have. Maybe they are on TiBB.

I can bloody well rush what I like.

I better run for the hills then

Ammi · 01-02-2012, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Kate*

Mystic Meg is a hoe bag.

...Mystic Meg is the Oracle

Kate! · 01-02-2012, 03:00 PM

You are all so bloody ungrateful, you bipping swines, well some of you anyway, heheh! (Turtlechops)

It takes a lot of energy to channel the stars doncha know?

Kosmic Kate will return tomorrow.

Jordan. · 01-02-2012, 03:06 PM

Kate you're already getting promo

Benjamin · 01-02-2012, 03:07 PM

Kate! · 01-02-2012, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jordan.

Kate you're already getting promo

Fame at last!!

Black Dagger · 01-02-2012, 03:09 PM

" A good day for resolving any differences. Get in touch with someone you may have fallen out with and make amends. You never know when they may come in useful, and you will feel the better person for doing so, can't beat having the moral highground. Not a good day for singing in the shower, soap is very slippy and you need to pay attention rather than using the backscrub brush as a microphone and murdering a classic. A trip to hospital may follow. Lucky animal: Hyena. "

I don't fall out with anybody

. I'l try not to sing in the shower as well.