[Z]

I like to write, but I really think this could be the one that I get into. I've only written a prologue and I will be adding to it before I start Chapter One, but I was just wanting to know everyone's thoughts =]

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Prologue

Niall Vass was never going to come out quietly. Nor was he a fool. The police had him surrounded. The blaring whirl of the helicopter’s blades sliced the air with menace, the negotiator was pleading him to shuffle just a few steps forwards and to step out of the building with his hands up. They promised him immunity, though he did not believe it for one moment. Whereas most people in his situation would probably opt to wait it out and let the SWAT team take him out rather than spend the rest of their lives in prison, he did not want to die. Not here and not now, he needed to support his kids, his girlfriend. He took a deep breath, and stepped outside. A neon flash of blue stung his eyes, which was then replaced with a blinding white. The sudden slap of cold metal against his wrists and then being rammed up against the police car hit him just as hard, and then he was bundled into the back of the car.

All of this had taken place some four years ago. To this day, Niall regretted it. He should have tried to escape. He was surrounded but he took the coward’s way out and gave in. Of course, this had improved the length of his sentence, but not by much. It was still a life sentence, only at least he had a chance of parole now. His inmates at the high security complex were just as terrifying. There was Rusty, the famed maniac who burst into a school and stabbed as many people as he could get his hands on, including two police officers. In all, twenty two people died that day, with many more wounded. Some might have said he was insane in the head. His inmates would say so too. But he did not plead insanity, he meant it completely. Once jailed, he tried to kill his fellow inmates and now had to be chained to the bed and only let out for bathroom breaks (accompanied by six officers, two of who would physically stand beside him as he urinated, and even defecating) and his meals were fed to him by an officer. He was not given the freedom of having a tray, plastic knife and plastic fork. As well as this interesting character, Niall had the delights of Kenneth Sinclair, famous for his vengeance campaign and stalking, and then killing freed murderers. Many of the general public even egged him on, believing what he was doing to be right, but in the eyes of the law, an eye for an eye is not the way to go. He was given a life sentence and received weekly counselling. Niall feared for his life with these two characters sharing a room with him. Indeed, he was afraid to sleep with Kenneth free to wander around the room. He soon found a way to remedy this; he befriended Kenneth and pretended that he was a political prisoner. Kenneth fell for it, and gave him no trouble.

Niall was woken up with a harsh slap across the face. He groggily lunged forwards, expecting to have to lose a few teeth. The butt of a rifle clunked into his forehead, and Niall flew backwards, back onto his bed. He forced his eyes open and saw several guards standing over him. He glared for a moment, before being sick all over the floor. A little bit of sick splashed onto one of the guard’s shoes. The guard in question charged forwards and grabbed Niall by the back of the head, and bellowed at him.

“LICK THAT OFF MY SHOE, NOW!” The bullish man screamed at Niall. Niall closed his eyes as he licked his own sick from the man’s shoe.

“SWALLOW IT!” The devilish man was grinning like the Grim Reaper upon claiming a new victim, as he relished his control over Niall.

Niall shuddered violently, and he couldn’t do it. He coughed the sick back onto the ground, this time over to the side, away from the shoe.

“Leave it.” The commanding officer spoke calmly, and instantly the other officers fell silent.

“Niall Vass, you are being transferred.”

Niall saw the man with the syringe step forwards. All he had time for was “What the-“before he fell into a deep sleep. When he next woke up, he was no longer in his jail cell. No, what he was in, was a house. But this was no normal house. Because there were at least 70 other people in this house, and as he scanned the room, he couldn’t help but notice they were all dressed in the clothes that every prisoner has to wear. What they were in, was a jail house.

[Legend]

It's really good that Zi, your really talented at writing. The other story you posted a while back about the girl who was being abused... you said there was going to be more parts to it (if my memory is right), is there because it was a good read.

[Siouxsie]

wow Ziola that is pretty well good. Are you hoping to be an author ?I would consider it if i was you. Well done mate.

[Ruth*Star]

Wow, thats amazing, you truly do have a talent there. Well Done Z.

[J.C.]

Yes... I would like to read more!! It makes you wonder just how bad prison life must be!!!! Also, I have always assumed that prison guards probably choose this work because many of them are control freaks with a yearning for power. I think you should go for it.!!

[JakeyBoy]

That's really good!

[LittleMissC]

Zi, that's really, really good
Y'know, I love writing as well- should be able to post some of my novel soon

[JakeyBoy]

I love writing too, but I'm sure my stuff sucks

[LittleMissC]

Awww I'm sure it doesn't

lmao my first book was craaaap I wrote it when I was four. It involved a boy who killed a monster with a football and robot teachers who said 'Hello, my name is Robot', lmao

[JakeyBoy]

My first book was about a talking wall...

[LittleMissC]

Pmsl!!

My second book, when I was six, involved a kangaroo called Lunky Doodle Doo, a mad thing called Nawko, and goats singing about commiting suicide...

[JakeyBoy]

One of my stories involves me killing everyone out of rage... muahahaha

[Z]

=] Thank you everyone. Yes I did do more about the girl who was abused but I figured it would be a bit tasteless to post it after the dubious reactions, I mean I hardly know what it's like to abused (nor do I know what it's like to be in prison) but I have a better idea of what you might expect. So many programs on TV bother to do research about jail, you get a grasp of prison life in a maximum security retention centre.

[LittleMissC]

Awww heya Zi as I said it's brill, I don't think it's tasteless I'd love to read it!

[Z]

Originally posted by Flame
Awww heya Zi as I said it's brill, I don't think it's tasteless I'd love to read it!

=D well when I go back onto our PC (am on my laptop) I shall post some more of the abuse story. =]

[LittleMissC]

lmao d'ya write mostly on the computer then?

[Z]

Originally posted by Flame
lmao d'ya write mostly on the computer then?

Yes, though I handwrote the full length novel I did, I still have it stored away, thinking that one day I might send it off

[LittleMissC]

I al;ways handwrite. It's quicker. And I write on the bus, at school, while I'm walking my dog... you name it. How long was the novel, btw?

[JakeyBoy]

I jot down ideas and stuff by hand and may write a bit by hand but the finished thing is always computered

[Lauren]

Thats excellent Z I love your writing style, it kept my attention the whole way through and lead me through the text.

[LittleMissC]

Originally posted by JakeyBoy
I jot down ideas and stuff by hand and may write a bit by hand but the finished thing is always computered

Yeeah same here. I usually redraft on the computer- publishers only take stuff that's printed AND double spaced

[JakeyBoy]

Originally posted by Flame

Yeeah same here. I usually redraft on the computer- publishers only take stuff that's printed AND double spaced

Really? Why doubled... that would annoy me so much!

[LittleMissC]

Ask the publishers lmao apparently so they can read it....

Are they blind?!

[JakeyBoy]

Originally posted by Flame
Ask the publishers lmao apparently so they can read it....

Are they blind?!

Hahahaha

[LittleMissC]

If they publish Snowfox I'll buy them each a pair of glasses... if I'm feeling nice...